A TIT IN THE HOUSE I have my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, and it’s not Ronald
Although you might be fooled into thinking so
As here he is cleaning the SHOWER.
The TIT I am referring to is a BLUE one and I am thrilled that it has decided to NEST in my little RUSSIAN BIRD HOUSE.
I would be thrilled if my dear ladies and occasional gentleman would care to read my book, written in collaboration with my dear friend. Available as an ebook (how exciting) and a paperback.
For Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N9UOT2Yg
For Amazon.co.uk http://www.amazon.co.uk/do/B01N9UOT2Y
Who would have thought that MURDER would have visited sleepy little St Urith Without Well and who would have thought that I would get involved and poor little Hirsute Roley.
Enjoy reading about the colourful characters who reside in our parish, set in the beautiful North Devon countryside
POPPY SEEDS IN THE LADYGARDEN! You may well ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.
A dear friend of mine asked me to make up the numbers in her soap workshop, ‘lovely’ you might think and you’d be right. I partnered a lovely young woman who chose lemon and lime essence, honey and POPPY SEEDS for our soap, here is a picture.
It smells DEVINE , looks a little ODD but heigh-ho it has all NATURAL ingredients and I know what’s in it.
In the shower I was surrounded by relaxing aromas and I started to rub the soap over my skin which felt like being rubbed by a ROUGH LIZARD
Once dressed and going about my business I was aware of a NOT unpleasant SENSATION in my LADYGARDEN. A couple of hours later I felt something SLIDE and BUMP down my leg escaping out the BOTTOM of my trouser leg and bouncing off my shoe. It was POPPY SEEDS.
WARNING! ALWAYS ENSURE A THOROUGH RINSE OF THE LADYGARDEN WHEN USING IMPREGNATED SOAP!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I am sure you will understand my feelings if you too have a husband, wife, partner or child with this ABILITY.
If I am watching a PROGRAMME or FILM that Ronald is NOT interested in he either reads his book, which is great or he will wander about, which is not.
When you have watched intently for the past 45 minutes and just at the point where the MURDERER/LOVER/PLOT whatever is being revealed, this happens.
“It’s really windy out there.” Or, “Hirsute Roley enjoyed his walk today she did a POO.” Or ” Want a cup of tea love?” Or
“Should I put sweet potato in my ratatouille tomorrow?”
All said whilst stood in front of the television!
p.s. Book available as e-book or paperback from
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, if you consider a little SOJOURN to OPORTO, you might consider a stay in the OPORTO COSY.
Built in the 190o’s it retains many original features, the optional breakfast is more than enough to keep you going through the day. Tea, coffee and wine can be served in your room but the best part of the GUESTHOUSE is the warm welcome and the service.
It is also great value for money.
Oporto is built on a hill running down to the river. The position of the guesthouse towards the top has a big ADVANTAGE, it means you can enjoy your, FOOD, WINE & PORT then WALK it off on the way back.
p.s. LUCKY ESCAPE, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman in the NEWS today was a story about a poor LADY who tried to drink her MINIATURE BOTTLE of VODKA on an EASY JET FLIGHT.
The flight attendants told her that she couldn’t drink it and even called the POLICE and asked for her to be ARRESTED.
Thank goodness the police had more sense and REFUSED.
I’m thinking that VERONICA and I were very LUCKY not to be ARRESTED when she FILLED Her WATER BOTTLE with VODKA & TONIC and I filled mine with GIN & TONIC and we took them on our FLIGHT to MORROCCO.
READ ALL ABOUT IT! BREAKING NEWS!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, today is an auspicious day, it is my late mothers birthday, bless her.
So as a present to her this is the perfect day for publishing my first book.
I have been working in collaboration with my dear friend Glenda who has written about one of my MOMENTOUS ADVENTURES.
Now I am not sure if this is the done thing or correct ETIQUETTE for putting on ones ‘BLISS’ so forgive me.
I’m just hoping that my fellow villagers like their moment of FAME.
p.s. Please don’t feel a obliged but the book is on AMAZON as an ebook, paperback to follow shortly. C x
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, here is Ronald and me enjoying some WHITE PORT in the city of OPORTO on our holiday in October.
To make up for my absence I will be bombarding you with posts in order that you can catch up on events in the Ladygarden household.
P.s. I have been working with a very dear lady friend of mine on a project, I think you would call her a ‘GHOST WRITER’.
More news on that later .C x
BRUSSELMANCER, yes my dear ladies and occasional gentleman I can feel your confusion (see it’s already working, I know what you are thinking)
I have just read about a lady who is an ASPARAMANCER, mmn exactly. Apparently she can tell the future from casting her fresh WORCESTERSHIRE grown ASPARAGUS and interpreting what it tells her.
I thought I would give it a try as I am writing a BOOK and thought I could find out how SUCCESSFUL it will be. Unfortunately I didn’t have any WORCESTERSHIRE ASPARAGUS about my person but I did have some DEVONSHIRE BRUSSEL SPROUTS.
Here is my first casting.
I think I need more practise as I’m not sure what this is telling me.
If my dear ladies and occasional gentleman you are more skilled in the art of BRUSSELMANCING, PLEASE if you have the time interpret this casting for me.
In the meantime, back to the writing.