BLOOMERS IN THE LADYGARDEN 

BLOOMERS IN THE LADYGARDEN my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, yes it’s Spring and many of the plants in the garden are blossoming.

The first LIZARD appeared this afternoon and no I’m not talking about Ronald, his skin has gone all SUPPLE since I bought him NIVEA FOR MEN.


Don’t worry I put the LIZARD safely on a rock in the SUN, better for it than being chased by HIRSUTE ROLEY.

YOURS Springily

Celia

P.S. I popped in to beautiful INSTOW this morning, it was looking stunning with BLUE SEA and matching SKY and a lovely view across to pretty APPLEDORE.

PPS hello Wendy.

SARTORIAL ELEGANCE OR PRACTICALITY?

SARTORIAL ELEGANCE OR PRACTICALITY? My dear ladies and occasional gentleman how MILD it is. Here we are on the 16th of December and our temperatures are in double figures, the summer FLOWERS are still BLOOMING,  the BULBS are coming up and Ronald is still wearing pale LINEN trousers and CANVAS shoes.

But really are they practical attire or footwear for walking hirsute Roley? After  all we have received a goodly amount of rain.

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As you can see I have chosen traditional PROTECTION as my mother drummed into me “never rely on a man for PROTECTION!”
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How impressive Ronald is striding along SARTORIALY ELEGANT through MUD and S..T.
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We even saw our first BABY LAMB, how exciting.

On our return Hirsute Roley, slipped his ELF SLIPPERS on and cuddled up.
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Yours Pre-Christmassy
Celia

PRIDE & SOGGY BOTTOMS!

PRIDE & SOGGY BOTTOMS you may ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman and I will tell you. We have had everything weather-wise thrown at us this week. Spectacular LIGHTNING and THUNDER, SNOW, TORRENTIAL RAIN, BRIGHT SUNSHINE and HAILSTONES. So this morning whilst we had the sunshine I suggested to Ronald that we take Hirsute Roley for a brisk walk.

Grumbling whilst switching off his KINDLE and dragging himself of the sofa, Ronald readied himself. In the meantime I had donned WATERPROOF COAT, WOOLY HAT, KNEE-LENGTH WELLY SOCKS, WELLINGTON BOOTS and gloves; Hirsute Roley was sporting his striped high necked jumper, we were ready.

Half-way down the lane with rivers of water running either side, slushing through the cow and horse dung, Ronald decided he had the WRONG TROUSERS on. I pointed out that he also had the WRONG SHOES on and why hadn’t he worn his WELLINGTON BOOTS? “I don’t need them” he retorted.

“I think we’ll walk back now” says Ronald, Hirsutes Roley’s feet are wet.

There is the distinct sound of SQUELCHING FEET!

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Yours Superiordly Dry

Celia

TO VEST OR NOT TO VEST

TO VEST OR NOT TO VEST, that is the question? We have had the warmest September since records began, it has been really HOT this week.

Today is the 1st day of October and the WEATHER has turned! It is cloudy and definitely cooler, for the first time this SUMMER I have dressed in LINEN trousers with a 3/4 length sleeve BLOUSE and CARDIGAN.

It is now mid-day and has warmed up, so it looks like October may be warm, hooray!

It may be sometime till I get my VEST out.

Yours warmily

Celia

CUBITS, HURRICANES & HOVERING EAGLES

imageCUBITS, HURRICANES & HOVERING EAGLES.
This morning we awoke to 80 miles per hour winds and no I am not talking about Ronald, following on from his BUBBLE AND SQUEAK supper..

Talking of Ronald, I am a little concerned, he has taken to mutterings. I am almost positive I heard him mutter this morning “300 CUBITS BY 50 BY 30”. We arrived back from grocery shopping yesterday, to a message on the answer phone announcing that a LARGE QUANTITY OF WOOD is to be delivered.

Just notified on BBC1 hurricane on LUNDY ISLAND, the EXPECTED WIND-SPEEDS have risen to between 80 and 100 MILES AN HOUR. the ELECTRICITY is now flickering, so is bound to go off soon. At least that will save some money, as I have just discovered that our previous electricity supplier has been SWAPPING OUR LOW NIGHT-RATE FOR THE HIGH DAY-RATE. no wonder our bills had been so expensive.

How long do you think it will take me to sort that our with the ELECTRICITY SUPPLIER?

Must go Ronald is muttering about CUBIT UPWARDS and has headed outside with a WOOD-SAW!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, think of us here in the WEST COUNTRY, which appears to be sinking under OCEANS OF WATER and WHIPPED UP BY HURRICANE WINDS.

Say a little PRAYER to ST MEDARD Patron Saint Against Bad Weather, who was saved as a child as he sheltered under a HOVERING EAGLE.

Let’s hope there is a HOVERING EAGLE over the BRITISH ISLES.

Yours Nervously

Celia

THE LEVITATING GNOME

THE LEVITATING GNOME

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Oh what a night, 70+ miles an hour winds and torrential rain.

The 6ft fence that borders our garden had a panel that decided
to LIMBO backwards. Ronald went out into the GALE and roped it to the LARGE GARDEN GNOME that was my dear mothers.

THE GNOME was a gift the Christmas before she passed. Ronald and my son had crept into her garden at about 1am in the early hours of the morning and dug a hole in her lawn to sit it in. She had been so thrilled when she woke up and saw it out of the window that I didn’t have the heart to part with it.

When we cleared her house he was trundled up to our home on a SACK-TROLLEY because he is so big and heavy. Hence the reason why Ronald had used him as an ANCHOR.

This morning we awoke to another day of torrential rain, hail-stones, gale force winds and the GNOME LEVITATING APPROXIMATELY 9 INCHES OFF THE GROUND HORIZONTALY!

Yours Windily

Celia

BUM-BOLSTER, FRINGING, CHORIZO & BUTTER BEAN SOUP

Bum-Cushion
Bum-Cushion
Dames Dress back
Dames Dress back
Dames Dress front
Dames Dress front
BUM-BOLSTER, FRINGING, CHORIZO & BUTTER BEAN SOUP

Today I decided I would finish the DAMES DRESS, it has taken me about six hours of hand sewing, I hope you think the finished result was worth it.

Ronald has had to help sew the separate BUM-BOLSTER as I just could not push the needle through. At least it’s a new skill he has learnt and he’ll be able to sew his trousers up in a crisis.

Don’t you just love a bit of FRINGING, it’s not just for COWBOYS you know.

CHORIZO AND BUTTER BEAN SOUP for lunch, with buttered toast on the side.

After walking little Roley with his HOODED-PARKER on to protect his little ears as he still has an EAR INFECTION. It was blowing a gale as we dashed between HAIL-STONES and driving rain, our thoughts turned towards warmer climes and HOLIDAY DESTINATIONS.

I’ve just dragged myself and three large pieces of white material out from under the bed after a mistaken purchase of an extra large ladies blouse with rather pretty buttons and full sleeves that I thought would fit “mellors” in the panto. He of ‘lady Chatterly’s Lover fame, loosely based of course, failed to fit CHUNKY actor it was meant to. Can I make a ROMANTIC ‘MR DARCY’ type blouse/shirt?WATCH THIS SPACE.

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