SARTORIAL ELEGANCE OR PRACTICALITY? My dear ladies and occasional gentleman how MILD it is. Here we are on the 16th of December and our temperatures are in double figures, the summer FLOWERS are still BLOOMING, the BULBS are coming up and Ronald is still wearing pale LINEN trousers and CANVAS shoes.
But really are they practical attire or footwear for walking hirsute Roley? After all we have received a goodly amount of rain.
As you can see I have chosen traditional PROTECTION as my mother drummed into me “never rely on a man for PROTECTION!”
How impressive Ronald is striding along SARTORIALY ELEGANT through MUD and S..T.
We even saw our first BABY LAMB, how exciting.
On our return Hirsute Roley, slipped his ELF SLIPPERS on and cuddled up.
PRIDE & SOGGY BOTTOMS you may ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman and I will tell you. We have had everything weather-wise thrown at us this week. Spectacular LIGHTNING and THUNDER, SNOW, TORRENTIAL RAIN, BRIGHT SUNSHINE and HAILSTONES. So this morning whilst we had the sunshine I suggested to Ronald that we take Hirsute Roley for a brisk walk.
Grumbling whilst switching off his KINDLE and dragging himself of the sofa, Ronald readied himself. In the meantime I had donned WATERPROOF COAT, WOOLY HAT, KNEE-LENGTH WELLY SOCKS, WELLINGTON BOOTS and gloves; Hirsute Roley was sporting his striped high necked jumper, we were ready.
Half-way down the lane with rivers of water running either side, slushing through the cow and horse dung, Ronald decided he had the WRONG TROUSERS on. I pointed out that he also had the WRONG SHOES on and why hadn’t he worn his WELLINGTON BOOTS? “I don’t need them” he retorted.
“I think we’ll walk back now” says Ronald, Hirsutes Roley’s feet are wet.
TO VEST OR NOT TO VEST, that is the question? We have had the warmest September since records began, it has been really HOT this week.
Today is the 1st day of October and the WEATHER has turned! It is cloudy and definitely cooler, for the first time this SUMMER I have dressed in LINEN trousers with a 3/4 length sleeve BLOUSE and CARDIGAN.
It is now mid-day and has warmed up, so it looks like October may be warm, hooray!
CUBITS, HURRICANES & HOVERING EAGLES.
This morning we awoke to 80 miles per hour winds and no I am not talking about Ronald, following on from his BUBBLE AND SQUEAK supper..
Talking of Ronald, I am a little concerned, he has taken to mutterings. I am almost positive I heard him mutter this morning “300 CUBITS BY 50 BY 30”. We arrived back from grocery shopping yesterday, to a message on the answer phone announcing that a LARGE QUANTITY OF WOOD is to be delivered.
Just notified on BBC1 hurricane on LUNDY ISLAND, the EXPECTED WIND-SPEEDS have risen to between 80 and 100 MILES AN HOUR. the ELECTRICITY is now flickering, so is bound to go off soon. At least that will save some money, as I have just discovered that our previous electricity supplier has been SWAPPING OUR LOW NIGHT-RATE FOR THE HIGH DAY-RATE. no wonder our bills had been so expensive.
How long do you think it will take me to sort that our with the ELECTRICITY SUPPLIER?
Must go Ronald is muttering about CUBIT UPWARDS and has headed outside with a WOOD-SAW!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, think of us here in the WEST COUNTRY, which appears to be sinking under OCEANS OF WATER and WHIPPED UP BY HURRICANE WINDS.
Say a little PRAYER to ST MEDARD Patron Saint Against Bad Weather, who was saved as a child as he sheltered under a HOVERING EAGLE.
Let’s hope there is a HOVERING EAGLE over the BRITISH ISLES.
Oh what a night, 70+ miles an hour winds and torrential rain.
The 6ft fence that borders our garden had a panel that decided
to LIMBO backwards. Ronald went out into the GALE and roped it to the LARGE GARDEN GNOME that was my dear mothers.
THE GNOME was a gift the Christmas before she passed. Ronald and my son had crept into her garden at about 1am in the early hours of the morning and dug a hole in her lawn to sit it in. She had been so thrilled when she woke up and saw it out of the window that I didn’t have the heart to part with it.
When we cleared her house he was trundled up to our home on a SACK-TROLLEY because he is so big and heavy. Hence the reason why Ronald had used him as an ANCHOR.
This morning we awoke to another day of torrential rain, hail-stones, gale force winds and the GNOME LEVITATING APPROXIMATELY 9 INCHES OFF THE GROUND HORIZONTALY!
Today I decided I would finish the DAMES DRESS, it has taken me about six hours of hand sewing, I hope you think the finished result was worth it.
Ronald has had to help sew the separate BUM-BOLSTER as I just could not push the needle through. At least it’s a new skill he has learnt and he’ll be able to sew his trousers up in a crisis.
Don’t you just love a bit of FRINGING, it’s not just for COWBOYS you know.
CHORIZO AND BUTTER BEAN SOUP for lunch, with buttered toast on the side.
After walking little Roley with his HOODED-PARKER on to protect his little ears as he still has an EAR INFECTION. It was blowing a gale as we dashed between HAIL-STONES and driving rain, our thoughts turned towards warmer climes and HOLIDAY DESTINATIONS.
I’ve just dragged myself and three large pieces of white material out from under the bed after a mistaken purchase of an extra large ladies blouse with rather pretty buttons and full sleeves that I thought would fit “mellors” in the panto. He of ‘lady Chatterly’s Lover fame, loosely based of course, failed to fit CHUNKY actor it was meant to. Can I make a ROMANTIC ‘MR DARCY’ type blouse/shirt?WATCH THIS SPACE.