BLOOMERS IN THE LADYGARDEN my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, yes it’s Spring and many of the plants in the garden are blossoming.
The first LIZARD appeared this afternoon and no I’m not talking about Ronald, his skin has gone all SUPPLE since I bought him NIVEA FOR MEN.
Don’t worry I put the LIZARD safely on a rock in the SUN, better for it than being chased by HIRSUTE ROLEY.
P.S. I popped in to beautiful INSTOW this morning, it was looking stunning with BLUE SEA and matching SKY and a lovely view across to pretty APPLEDORE.
PPS hello Wendy.
MOUSES MAYHEM & MUSINGS, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman what a day it has been and it’s only 4.0’clock!
I had planned a full day of WRITING, interspersed with homemade SOUP and followed by a PANTOMIME rehearsal this evening.
Instead I heard a whoosh and DISCOVERED WATER from the DISHWASHER pouring into the cupboard under the sink.
At the same time I DISCOVERED MOUSE DROPPINGS under the sink.
Ronald DISCOVERED a MOUSE had chewed a HOLE in the DISHWASHER pipe.
Ronald went to buy a new pipe for the DISHWASHER.
I walked the two FURBABIES in the SNOW. We were about 2/3rds of the way around the village when the LEAD broke on our new little RESCUE Polly.
Polly was rescued from a PUPPY FARM and has LOTS to LEARN, like her NAME, RECALL, SIT, etc, at present her DEFAULT walk is to KEEP GOING.
The good news is POLLY is SAFE, DISHWASHER is WORKING, WATER mopped up, DROPPINGS cleared.
I’m TEMPTED to put some CHEESE down, I’d prefer they ate that next time.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, if you consider a little SOJOURN to OPORTO, you might consider a stay in the OPORTO COSY.
Built in the 190o’s it retains many original features, the optional breakfast is more than enough to keep you going through the day. Tea, coffee and wine can be served in your room but the best part of the GUESTHOUSE is the warm welcome and the service.
It is also great value for money.
Oporto is built on a hill running down to the river. The position of the guesthouse towards the top has a big ADVANTAGE, it means you can enjoy your, FOOD, WINE & PORT then WALK it off on the way back.
p.s. LUCKY ESCAPE, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman in the NEWS today was a story about a poor LADY who tried to drink her MINIATURE BOTTLE of VODKA on an EASY JET FLIGHT.
The flight attendants told her that she couldn’t drink it and even called the POLICE and asked for her to be ARRESTED.
Thank goodness the police had more sense and REFUSED.
I’m thinking that VERONICA and I were very LUCKY not to be ARRESTED when she FILLED Her WATER BOTTLE with VODKA & TONIC and I filled mine with GIN & TONIC and we took them on our FLIGHT to MORROCCO.
SARTORIAL ELEGANCE OR PRACTICALITY? My dear ladies and occasional gentleman how MILD it is. Here we are on the 16th of December and our temperatures are in double figures, the summer FLOWERS are still BLOOMING, the BULBS are coming up and Ronald is still wearing pale LINEN trousers and CANVAS shoes.
But really are they practical attire or footwear for walking hirsute Roley? After all we have received a goodly amount of rain.
As you can see I have chosen traditional PROTECTION as my mother drummed into me “never rely on a man for PROTECTION!”
How impressive Ronald is striding along SARTORIALY ELEGANT through MUD and S..T.
We even saw our first BABY LAMB, how exciting.
On our return Hirsute Roley, slipped his ELF SLIPPERS on and cuddled up.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman back to Morrocco with ATLAS ASSES.
A short walk before lunch, suggested our host in the ATLAS MOUNTAINS, just down to the village and a little stroll in the splendor of the snow-topped mountains.
Several of us set off down the steep hill and met this handsome chap as we entered the village.
The local ladies sat in the shade tried to control their chuckles at the STUPID TOURISTS walking past, out in the mid-day sun.
After 30 minutes of navigating, GULLIES, traversing STREAMS climbing over BOULDERS our friendly guide told us that the way ahead was blocked with a river of water. The farmers are allowed to irrigate their land with the snow melted water according to a time-table! Either the FARMER or the GUIDE had erred!
Back we climbed the way we had climbed down and attempted another route. 20 minutes later this to was blocked by water. A mixed group of MIDDLE-AGED people clinging to the side of the mountain set the dear boy guide panicking a little and he quickly suggested we climb up a steep bank, and through some barbed wire in order to avoid it.
My dear friend Veronica under the illusion she is like a YOUNG GAZELLE scrambled up behind a fellow climber and there was a pivotal moment when half of her was through the hole but the rest of her (dare ASS ay the heavier end) wasn’t!
With temperatures of 29c I decided to join the men and brave the water, oh what fun we had!
After a further 20 minutes and another blocked track, I decided I’d had enough and would make my own way back.
When Veronica arrived sometime after me, she resembled an EXTREMELY CROSS GIANT TOMATO!
XXXXXXX! XXXXXXXXXXX! XX! XXXXXXX! XXXXX!
I’m afraid I’ve had to censor what she said.
WHAT IS THIS? My dear ladies and occasional gentleman today has been a glorious sunny 1st day of DECEMBER so my dear friend Gloria and I went for a walk taking little hirsute Roley with us.
It was very MILD and QUIET walking the lanes until I came upon this ALIEN CREATURE!
WHAT IS IT? If any of my dear ladies and occasional gentleman know please tell me.
I was EXCEEDINGLY BRAVE taking this photograph as I am distinctly ARACHNOPHOBIC!
This was not a good start to the FESTIVE SEASON, a ROBIN, REINDEER OR (W)RAPPING PAPER would have been more suitable.
BIOLOGICAL JET-LAG & DOGGING
My dear ladies and occasional gentlemen, I think I have JET-LAG. I am experiencing DESYNCHRONIZATION of my BIOLOGICAL RYTHMS.
Last night I stayed up late because I was WIDE-AWAKE but this morning I didn’t want to get up and kept nodding off. All this jetting across the world for one night has taken its toll.
I took hirsute Roley for a long walk only realising when I was a third of the way around that I had forgotten Ronald! Oh well blame it on the jet lag. It was a lovely day, the birds were singing and it was a joy to be out.
About half-way around I met an old friend a lovely man and we did a bit of DOGGING. I was telling him all about hirsute Roley and he was telling me all about the RESCUE DOG he and his wife had taken on. I peeped through the window at her, what a sweetie, she is going to need a lot of training but she is good in the house, very friendly and good-natured, just like her owner.
After saying goodbye I started walking on when hirsute Roley started pulling forward excitedly. I was going to let her off the lead as she is good and never goes off but I couldn’t because I thought she WOULD go off she seemed so desperate. Then in the distance I saw the top of Ronald’s head, that’s why hirsute Roley was pulling.
I let her off the lead and her little legs running like PISTONS she shot of up the lane to find her DAD. Don’t ask me how she knew he was coming, some DOGGY instinct?