BACKPACKS!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, why are so many people wearing BACKPACKS?

My AMERICAN friends, I salute your Dick Kelty the INNOVATOR of the BACKPACK.

BUT and it’s a BIG BUT he invented it for people who go HIKING or CAMPING – NOT for short BUS rides to PORTOFINO!

A SLIGHT young man, back bent backwards by the weight of his BACKPACK and his companion was standing on our crowded bus from the train station to PORTOFINO. Every time he turned to look at the beautiful scenery out of the window he TOOK THREE PEOPLE OUT.

A FEISTY Italian lady who was in danger of missing her stop had to resort to the traditional method of a SHARP BLOW to the back of the KNEES; bringing him down on his back like an UPENDED TURTLE.

I lost COUNT of the number of TIMES I was BIFFED, BASHED or SQUISHED by the DAMN THINGS. WHAT the HECK is in the FISHING things?

Even on the PLANE, it’s a STRUGGLE to fit my SLIM SUITCASE in the OVERHEAD locker with the BULGING, MULTI POCKET, METAL TUBED, PADDED STRAPPED BACKPACK.

WHO NEEDS a BACKPACK when wandering the beautiful City of GENOA, or meandering along the SEAFRONT of PORTOFINO.

I mean one is never further than a couple of feet from WATER, FOOD, ALCOHOL or a DEFIBRILLATOR these days.

A BACKPACK is APPROPRIATE for HIKING, CAMPING or EXPLORING in the WILD.

If you need a bag, why not a SHOULDER BAG suitable for EVERYONE.

When you are about to leave the house with HALF the HOUSE, ASK YOURSELF…….DO I NEED THIS LETHAL WEAPON ON MY BACK?

Yours Grumpily

Celia

 

P.S. ‘Celia Finds An Angel’

Available on http://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G68SX6J

or (UK) http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07G68SX6J

MR FUCIK’s CARP BURGERS

MR FUCIK’S CARP BURGERS, I don’t fancy them do you?

These are the ASIAN CARP who are SEXY LITTLE BEASTS and have multiplied to such an extent they threaten THE GREAT LAKES of AMERICA.

 

 

They were originally introduced to southern US states more than three decades ago to control algal build-up in sewage treatment plants. But they escaped into the Mississippi River and proliferated, making their way north towards the Great Lakes.

 

 

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I am rather concerned about these fish according to a BBC report,  there is a great danger whilst going about your daily business of being slapped in the face by one. 

My dear friend Veronica is often CARPING on and sometimes when she is really enthusiastic about something it often feels like a VERBAL slap in the face. But I’d rather have that than a WET FISH any day.

The ENTERPRISING businessman called DIRK FUCIK is producing BURGERS out of them in his DOWNTOWN CHICAGO specialist fish shop. No offense MR FUCIK but I do not think I will be buying any.  The idea is to eat the fish out of EXISTENCE and use them as a food resource. Again no offence to my friends ACROSS THE POND but don’t you have enough food resources?  Like us BRITS there aren’t many SKINNY people in the USA .

Perhaps these fish could be used to aid HUNGER IN THE THIRD WORLD. Thereby helping to solve two problems at once.

These unusual  happenings are often the result of humans interfering with nature and as is quite often the case, the SOLUTION used comes back and SLAPS YOU IN THE FACE.

Which brings me back to my concerns, with all this extra WATER about with the FLOODS I shall be keeping a CARP-EYE out, when out and about just in case.

Yours Fishily

Celia