BONDAGE FOR BEGINNERS!

BONDAGE FOR BEGINNERS, that my dear ladies and occasional gentleman was the item on daytime television ‘THIS MORNING’ this morning.

I was expecting sections on COOKING, FASHION, and HOME DECOR but definitely not BONDAGE. This is a sample of the items on offer:
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Thankfully Ronald was engrossed in his book ‘The Twilight Home for Retired Gentlemen’.

After a section of SPRING FASHION with GOK it moved on to BONDAGE FOR THE ADVANCED! As soon as PHILLIP SCHOFIELD picked up these
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Ronald perked up and said “that’s what you need dear’
“What”? Says I
“ROW MARKERS for your knitting” says he.

Yours Pinchingly

Celia

BUM OBSERVATIONS, PICK- A – MIX, FAKE BOOBS & CUP HOOKS

BUM OBSERVATIONS, PICK – MIX, FAKE BOOBS & CUP-HOOKS
This morning, this morning had a piece with a woman who read BUMS. If that wasn’t absurd enough it went on to show so called CELEBRITIES BUMS poking through a hole in the scenery. The BUM-READER went on to OBSERVE the characteristics of the BUM-OWNER.

Firstly why was I watching it? Well I was trying to catch a news item I had missed.
Secondly who were the CELEBRITIES? I could not name one of them.
Thirdly what WERE the programme makers thinking of.
Reading bums poked through a hole, pleeaase ! Surely there are other more interesting subjects they could choose but perhaps I am just being boring, perhaps there are some of you out there who like READING BUMS.

Meanwhile back to the new bed-linen. After the trauma of shopping with all the PICK-A-MIX of BED LINEN to choose from, colours style, fabric etc, when we had finally chosen our bed set, we decided to purchase some new curtains as well. That is when life became difficult because the matching curtains were in a PLEATED TOP rather than an EYELET TOP.

Sorry my dear ladies and the occasional gentleman I must absent, Ronald has had to pop into town for a pair of FAKE BOOBS, some CUP HOOKS, BULBS and SUPER GLUE

Yours Harriedly

Celia

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