I’m TRIMMING MY BUSH my dear ladies and occasional gentleman. 

This will grow by magic to cover SLEEPING BEAUTY in our village pantomime, first night tonight.

I shall be donning my TUTU, WINGS, WAND & FISHNETS (Ronald is rather excited) as FAIRY FLORA.


Yours Pantoly



SPOT THE DIFFERENCE my dear ladies and occasional gentleman. Our delicious DAMSON GIN was quite happy and we had enjoyed a little NIP or two. However yesterday I ventured forth for a little light LUNCHEON with my dear friend VERONICA.
As you are aware Veronica is a great FORRAGER but not keen myself on MASTICATING ROADKILL BADGER and whatever greenery she had S.A.S MANOEUVRED her way to finding deep in the hedgerows, I had managed to persuade her to put on something more LADYLIKE and join me in the CAFE at our local THEATRE.

On my return to the Ladygarden residence I noticed something strange with the DAMSON GIN, can you spot it?


What EAGLE EYES you have, yes the one on the right has a STRANGE SEDIMENT!

After INTERROGATING Ronald he FESSED UP. He decided to top up the jars with more GIN and a little sugar. Ok so far.

UNFORTUNATELY he had picked up a bag of FLOUR.

It was in the jar before he realized what it was. He tried to scoop it out with a SPOON, unsuccessfully.

I am going to stick a label with my name on it on the other jar.

Yours Flourly







My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, LET’S DO THE TIME-WARP AGAIN.
What a fantastic, FUNNY, SEXY, show, (who can resist a man in a basque, suspenders and stockings. It’s given me ideas for Ronald’s birthday which is approaching) with an AMAZING CAST who handled the very vocal heckling audience with aplomb.

At times the heckling was so funny the actors had to pause to compose themselves which all added to the enjoyment.

Oh what feelings ROCKY aroused in us ladies, he really was a ‘CHARLES ATLAS’ of a man in his tiny LEOPARD PRINT pants. I have never seen PRESS-UP STAR JUMPS before.

And how impressive is RICHARD O’BRIEN reprising his show after 43 years.

I am sorry to say that at the THEATRE we attended for the live performance had a very CONSERVATIVE audience and WE WERE the ONLY FOUR PEOPLE TO DRESS UP!

Not only that but most averted their eyes and ignored us, others looked but didn’t CRACK A SMILE. There was only one or two that acknowledged us and smiled.

I did enjoy getting my LADYBELLS out in my new DOLCE & GABBANA BRASSIERE and slipping on the FISHNETS SUSPENDERS and BIKER BOOTS. As you well know I am usually such a shy and retiring flower but  I thought you might like a look.

My dear friend Gloria and I popped in to our village social club for a quick nightcap on returning home. We did cause a bit of a stir and then my dear friends Theresa and Bernard our fellow dresser-uppers turned up just to add to the amusement of the clientele.

All in all a fab night and if you get the chance GO AND SEE THE SHOW, you won’t be disappointed.

Yours Fishnetily


P.S. Here we all are




CREATIVE JUICES have been flowing in the LADYGARDEN, Ronald has had to take cover!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I apologies for my absence but my CREATIVE JUICES have been flowing and I am sure you’ll agree that you have to enjoy it and go with the flow.

Since we last had a little converse I have written a PANTOMIME for our annual village production (oh no you didn’t, oh yes I did), I appreciate the concept of PANTOMIME is a little obtuse to my COLONIAL friends. It is truly a strange English form of THEATRE.

It isn’t as easy as it might sound writing a PANTOMIME, there are the absolute necessities that have to be included. I have to make sure there is a part for every EGO and each character has to have some dialogue and a song. Then there are the whole cast DANCES , PANTO HORSE, audience participation,choosing all the MUSIC……… It’s OK I’m stopping now, I can hear your yawns of boredom.

I have also written more of my novel!

If you were wondering how I did at our ANNUAL VILLAGE SHOW here are the results and thank you for all your well wishes.

Yours Creatively




DIVAS, DINNERS & DAEDAL. Yes dear ladies and the occasional gentleman, it is SHOW-WEEK

Friday nights rehearsal was particularly fraught, so fraught that Morrelo and Veronica broke into a box of FRUITY WHITE WINE that was meant for the bar on a performance night!  There were TEARS, TANTRUMS AND TACENDAS and we were left at the end of the evening having only gone through the first half of the show thinking that we would book a cheap long weekend in BRUGES instead.

Sunday morning’s rehearsal with the aim of running the whole show started well and continued in this vein THANK SHAKESPEARE. Afterwards the majority of the cast along with husbands sped to the village hall for the ANNUAL ROAST DINNER event. After settling into our various seats and filling our glasses with THE FINEST VINO we pulled our crackers, donned our party hats and entered into the jolly spirit.

To decide which table could go up first to be served dinner a quiz question was asked.

“What was the size of the parish in acreage, the population and the size of bodies of water In 1884?”

All on our table were scratching their heads when suddenly the number popped into my head 3,984. Unfortunately I thought that the answers had to be totalled and then divided by their number 3, when in fact the answers should have been added together. Oh well HO-HUM.

The dinner was delicious and we were all tucking in when Ronald’s knife suddenly lunged for me, hitting me on the arm, leaving a trail of BEEF GRAVY, bouncing off and a piece of beef flew through the air, hit the ceiling and landed next to Veronica’s plate. Ronald May have had a snifter before dinner and the wine!

I became a little impatient waiting to be told our table could go up for pudding and grabbing Veronica’s hand forced my way through the elderly ladies and others making there way up, indeed Veronica nearly flattened a vertically challenged gentleman who ended up facing completely the wrong way and looking confused as to what had happened.But we had the pick of the puddings and were making our way back to our table when we were rumbled by THE LOCAL FUNERAL DIRECTOR, who had been last seen by us with Veronica’s brassiere over his head (see film in show) who enjoyed OUTING us to the rest of the diners! A lovely village event.

So tonight is our dress & tech rehearsal before the first night of our show on Thursday , then Friday and Saturday night.

So wish us all luck, break a leg etc and hope we raise a good sum of money for the CHEMOTHERAPY APPEAL.

Yours Excitedly



FEMALE TRANSPORT – FISH AND CHIPS.  Last night Theresa, Gwendoline and I went to the theatre. We watched a very interesting play about the transport of female criminals to Van Diemans’s land. The set and lighting was very clever and it felt just as if you were looking into a real ship. The cast were excellent and portrayed the horror of life on board ship, manacled, beaten and abused, the sickness and squalor. But also the relationships between the women, the infighting, comfort and caring. Congratulations to all involved.

An enjoyable evening only marred by Gwendoline. We were passing the FISH AND CHIP shop on the way back to the car and as I had only eaten some baked beans on toast at mid-day I decided to partake of a FISH SUPPER which I would take home and share with Ronald. He likes a bite late at night.

Theresa decided to have a ladies portion of chips but Gwendoline declined on account of her being on a diet!

Whilst waiting for our supper Gwendoline was telling us about her cousin who works in London and travels on the buses. Aparently whilst he is waiting at bus stops and sitting in traffic he writes on social networking. Fine you may think, no problem with that but then dear Gwendoline goes on to say to me ” He doesn’t half write a load of c..p, just like you”.

Well dear ladies and the occasional gentleman to say I was shocked is to put it too mildly.

“How very dare you “I replied looking at her sternly “are you referring to my BLISS ? (As you know dear readers I do not like the word BLOG, too vulgar) My readers are discerning, intelligent they would not read c..p.

Theresa was looking shocked, the fish & chip ladies were looking shocked, even the cod turned up it’s tail. Gwendoline started back-tracking

“But it’s very funny I only meant he writes rubbish, about nothing”


“Yours isn’t rubbish, I just meant that he writes like you about ordinary things and people”

Luckily our fish supper was ready at that point so conversation with big boots on was supended. To top it all when I dropped her at home she vacated the car taking my fish supper with her, I only just retrieved it in time.

I don’t think that dieting agrees with Gwendoline.

Yours crushedly





CELIA AND VERONICA VENTURE FORTH. How exciting we are off to the Theatre .My lovely daughter with the ARTISTIC BENT has obtained tickets for us to see ‘Kaberet’ starring William Young who I understand is a lovely singer songwriter, he probably has an artistic bent too. What Larks!
Even more exciting we have to catch the train. One of our favourites is the ‘MINERVA’ Built in 1927 and served many Pullman routes. Joined the Devon Belle in 1947 and the Golden Arrow in 1951, being used in the special Festival of Britain rake. Often included in special trains for state visits and royal use in the early 50s.

Which of course suits myself and Veronica, nothing like A TOUCH OF CLASS.  What a naughty pair we are as we tuck our KNICKERS into our handbags, nothing we love more than a VELVET PLUSH PULLMAN close to our fa……  pre-lunch cocktail, served by a smartly dressed waiter with a few horse-derves. CLICKETY-CLACK, CLICKETY-CLACK what perfect rythm until speeding up to the junction, faster, faster until WHOO-WHOO goes the whistle.

Yours Excitedly



What a lovely evening Veronica and I had along with a few lady friends and the odd gentleman (sorry Sebastian) in the vicarage gardens. Annabelle, Sebastian, Teresa and Gwendoline had brought a lovely picnic and Veronica and I had posh fish and chips. Teresa would keep going on about her sausage and eating it in a lascivious manner making poor Sebastian wince.

The sun was shining, the wine was flowing and we were entertained with the bucolic ‘Larkrise to Candleford’. The cast was very enthusiastic in fact one actor nearly took Annabelle and myself out in act two with a seven week old piece of bread flung at ninety miles an hour. It,s not what you expect in a vicarage garden I had to steady myself with another glass of wine and then another glass for the shock.

Of course Veronica found this highly amusing, needless to say she had consumed the best part of a bottle of wine. Looking like a ‘mummy’ swathed from head to toe in a cream blanket, she looked across at me and started laughing in a most unladylike way accusing me of going all hip-hop and looking like Jay Z whoever that is. Admittedly I had my sunglasses on but I think it was my new hat that she was mocking. She was jealous. After all Gwendoline sported some strange sort of outback hat and she didn’t laugh at her but then she did look rather dashing. the end of the evening she started to say naughty words over and over because she thought it was funny in the vicarage garden. Unfortunately I too had sipped too often at the vin rouge and joined in, luckily the vicar wasn’t there.

Sadly I offended Veronica on our way to the public house, I am embarrassed to say I called her self-centred when what I meant to say was single-minded. She can bear a grudge can Veronica and hold on to it. I am going to have to do some ladylike grovelling.

Yours Humbly


Ronald does like using gaffer tape
Looking Good Ronald

So  the summer house is almost finished. It just needs the glass in the windows, painting inside and out and then the decoration. I’m getting very exciting. Ronald has worked steadily, thoroughly and at an even pace but ladies you know what it’s like now it’s coming towards the finish I want him to speed up ready for the big finale.

Look at Ronald with his gaffer tape, his day is not complete without using it, banging something followed by a beer and his Kindle. Of course I am a woman of many interests but I admit my day wouldn’t be right without the clickety-clack of needles in my hand and a lovely ball of wool.

There are lots of other things I enjoy of course, in fact Veronica and I are venturing to an outdoor theatre production this evening, weather permitting of ‘Larkrise To Candleford’ what fun!

Yours Theatricaly


Start a Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: