POPPY SEEDS IN THE LADYGARDEN

POPPY SEEDS IN THE LADYGARDEN! You may well ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

A dear friend of mine asked me to make up the numbers in her soap workshop, ‘lovely’ you might think and you’d be right. I partnered a lovely young woman who chose lemon and lime essence, honey and POPPY SEEDS for our soap, here is a picture.


It smells DEVINE , looks a little ODD but heigh-ho it has all NATURAL ¬†ingredients and I know what’s in it.

In the shower I was surrounded by relaxing aromas and I started to rub the soap over my skin which felt like being rubbed by a ROUGH LIZARD


Once dressed and going about my business I was aware of a NOT unpleasant SENSATION in my LADYGARDEN. A couple of hours later I felt something SLIDE and BUMP down my leg escaping out the BOTTOM of my trouser leg and bouncing off my shoe. It was POPPY SEEDS.

WARNING! ALWAYS ENSURE A THOROUGH RINSE OF THE LADYGARDEN WHEN USING IMPREGNATED SOAP!

Yours Soapily

Celia

SOFT-SOAPING!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, you may remember my visit to the dentist for my broken tooth.

On entering the TORTURE CHAMBER my DENTIST smiled at me.

I gave him a piece of handmade LEMON & LIME with a hint of PATCHOULI soap, manly-wrapped in tissue and tied with twine. I made it at at a fantastic SOAP workshop run by a dear friend of mine, somebody had dropped out and she kindly offered me a place.

I was paired with an ‘INTERESTING LADY’ who had very STRONG ideas of the SOAP she would make. She decided on LEMON & LIME and as you can see an ‘INTERESTING’ colour choice. It was pointed out by the SOAP expert that a hint of PICHOULI would bring the SCENTS together.

This scent her over the edge as she reiterated that she could not abide PATCHOULI as it reminded her of an unpleasant boyfriend she had when she was 17.

It’s not that I lack compassion but as she was a woman in her late 50’s I thought it was time she got over it.

The PICHOULI went in.

Giving my DENTIST the soap, made by my own fair hands, I said “This is a present to put in your EXECUTIVE TOILET, so now you have to be very gentle with me.”

SOFT-SOAPING? I lay back in the chair and he said ” No need for injections today, it’s a dead tooth so it won’t hurt.”

55 minutes of DRILLING, POST FITTING, MOLD taking, temporary CAP fitted I walked out.

My next appointment to have temporary cap removed and forever one fitted is next Tuesday. MY BIRTHDAY!

Yours Soapily

Celia

ps The soap is lovely.

pps I sat with the mold in my mouth for quite some time with the dentist checking it before he realised that it wasn’t going to set! It took a while to pull out the strings of what tasted like SECOND HAND CHEWING GUM. Embarrassment all round for the dentist (tee-hee).

NAUGHTY PARTIES!

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NAUGHTY PARTIES!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, FELICITATIONS at this ADVENT season. What a busy time it has been, hence my absence.

Sparks have been flying from my KNITTING and SEWING needles (Ronald has taken to wearing SAFETY GLASSES) as I race to complete festive gifts. image
Who doesn’t need ELF BUNTING?

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Last Friday evening I accompanied my dear friend Veronica to a CHRISTMAS FAIR where she displayed her wonderful HOMEMADE SOAPS and other lovely SMELLIES. Veronica had gone off foraging for MULLED CIDER to keep off the chill and I was MANNING the stall in my own ladylike way, enjoying the music, happy families, decorations and CHRISTMAS atmosphere, WHEN! A man SIDLED up to the stall and picked up one of Veronica’s cards offering PARTIES.
He LEERED at me muttering “mmmmm you do parties do you? I think I’d like you to do me a party”
I just did that silly little giggle that one does when one is nervous, luckily Veronica returned knocking the hopeful PARTY-GOER clear out of the way with her LARGE-BOTTOM glasses of MULLED CIDER!

Yours Ciderly

Celia

P.S. Ronald has just returned from Lidls where he was SEDUCED by this CRISTMAS REINDEER PACK OF SCENTED TOILET ROLLS with SNOWFLAKES, REINDEERS AND CHRISTMAS TREES on them. WORRYING!
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SUITCASES, SKITTLES AND SLOW-COOKERS

20140302-050724-pm.jpgSUITCASES, SKITTLES AND SLOW-COOKERS.

What a lovely RUMMAGE for a Sunday morning. Veronica and I set forth for a VINTAGE FAYRE in a local HOSTELRY. We love a RUMMAGE, you never know what you will find.

Quite by accident we avoided the £1 entrance fee by going in a side door. To be fair this was not our fault as the lack of SIGNAGE made it almost impossible to find your way in.

An interesting selection of stalls and goods greeted us. Veronica is off like A GREYHOUND OUT OF A TRAP as she makes a quick sorty around the room, trying to spot a bargain. She is a very DISCERNING browser, Veronica and won’t buy just any old thing, it has to be right. She did make a purchase a small brown suitcase REDOLENT of PADDINGTON BEAR.

I purchased a rather smart STAINLESS-STEEL SPOUT for a wine bottle. We then intended to peruse the BOOT FAYRE but due to the inclement weather it was cancelled. As we started to drive away we spotted a small notice of a TABLE-TOP SALE in the hall next to SAINSBURYS, due to start in an hour.

Why not we thought and parked up and popped into SAINSBURYS for a lovely cup of tea, while we waited.

What a MISCELLANY of items were on display, that is if you could fight your way through the crowd to reach the stall. Veronica of course was off and running, ELBOWS FLYING, eyes darting THIS WAY AND THAT.

I followed on at a more sedate pace, contemplating the BARRY MANILOW COLLECTION alongside a GIFT SET for a man, comprising of a SET OF MINIATURE SKITTLES, a pack of cards, a bar of soap and a bottle of body lotion. WHY I ask myself?What was their reasoning in putting those items in the same gift box?

As we were leaving Veronica had her eye on a SLOW-COOKER, whilst two BETTY BOOP clocks had captured mine. They were on the same stall. I negotiated and purchased my clocks. Veronica did the same with her slow-cooker. I don’t know why but I feel I may use my clocks more than she will use her slow-cooker.

Yours Tick-Tockedly

Celia

LURE OF THE SILVER SCREEN

LURE OF THE SILVER SCREEN. What larks, my friend Veronica and myself have been cajoled into making another film. This follows our last successful celluloid extravaganza for which we wrote the original script and directed ourselves in order that we had the best lines and the cameraman shot our best sides.

Strange the cameraman was taken away on the last day of filming by some very nice young men in white coats. We could still hear him singing ‘Tip-toe Through The Tulips’ as they closed the ambulance doors. There was a bit of screaming before that so he must have caught his long-lens in his shutter.

Tomorrow I am going to our local craft club and we are DECOUPAGING. we have been asked to take some tissue so I am taking some KLEENEX and a roll of IZAL ¬†toilet paper And a framed photo of Ronald, it’s a bit dull and could do wit h brightening up.

Must dash I have some WRIST-WARMERS FELTING in the washing machine and I think I may have overdone the soap as there are BUBBLES bubbling under the utility door.

Yours Soapily

Celia