PLAYING DOCTORS & NURSES!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman back to MOROCCO, after we had recovered from our trek in the ATLAS MOUNTAINS we had a delicious CHICKEN TAGINE lunch on the terrace.

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This was followed by a demonstration of BREAD BAKING, BERBER style. The flat piece of dough is pressed against the sides of the hot CLAY OVEN  to bake. The lovely lady without aid of  oven-gloves or tongs turned the bread over to bake the other side; finished it is like a NAAN BREAD.

WARNING!!!!!!!

LOOK AWAY NOW IF SQUEAMISH

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This is the unfortunate big toe that had a head-on collision with an unidentified ROCK on my ATLAS MOUNTAIN trek. Although protected by my SAINSBURYS trainers it still turned black and now the nail is half-way off.
I remarked to Ronald that I hoped I didn’t catch it and rip it off and he disappeared. Only to return with THIS|
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his FIRST-AID KIT from his BMW and mutter about making a protective BANDAGE SNOOD.

I don’t mind PLAYING DOCTORS AND NURSES but I’m NOT letting him near my TOE!

Yours Podiatryly

Celia

TABLE-TOPS, HOT KNOBS & BANANAS

TABLE-TOPS, HOT KNOBS & BANANAS

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, My dear friend Veronica and I stepped into the RETAIL world when we booked a table at the hall next to SAINSBURYS for a TABLE-TOP SALE.

Ron the organiser, explained over the phone that we were to put our sale items in a SAINSBURYS trolley and make our way to the rear entrance.

Veronica asked if we could just carry our goods in. Decidedly not. According to Ron The only way is to transport the goods in a SUPERMARKET trolley.

We duly parked and collected a trolley each, loaded up and made our way to the rear. Where we joined a collection of trolleys and a DISTRAUGHT Ron. Apparently the over 80’s GAY GORDONS CLUB had overrun, there were vague mutterings and accusations of the EARL-GRAY being SPIKED. But the upshot was poor Ron had no tables ready.

We joined the throng, there was a bit of POSTURING and PUSHING as people tried to maintain their position and some distinctly unfriendly glares. Which I turned away from and found myself face to face with a very pleasant lady and we chatted while we waited.

We had nearly unpacked every thing, when a young lady accosted us and said “this is my table”. It’s a very competitive business, the table-top sale!

Ron bless him soon sorted things out and we were able to stay where we were. I was selling a rather smart LINEN skirt and discussed the joys of linen and my price with a woman, she then gave me a superior smile and said “it is too big for me” and walked off.

A little lady tottered up and asked “does your knob get hot?” It took me a while to realise she was talking about a TEAPOT!

“I’m not sure” I said. That’s another sale lost but it was OK because two very nice young men came along a little later and bought it. I’m sure they have LADYLIKE tea parties.

Veronica nudged me and directed my gaze to the older ladies across the way, “old ladies eat a lot of bananas don’t they?” I must say it wasn’t something I had noticed before, but now that she had mentioned it, yes they do.
Poor Veronica had to intervene between two customers who were fighting for the same spot and a loud man shouted in my ear “what’s the damage? I hadn’t a clue as to what he meant. Veronica interpreted that he wanted to know how much the FRIDGE MAGNETS were. “10p” I told him

“Humph,” he said walking away, last of the big spenders!

A man requested a price for a huge plastic tub of TAPESTRY wool and a tapestry. We agreed a price and off he went across to the banana eating ladies, there was a lot of discussion and then he came back, “Is this something a MAN can do” he asked

Not being sure if he meant eating the bananas but opting for the tapestry, I reassured him “Of course, lots of men knit and sew, there is equality in most things now you know, so if you want to you can”.

There were many incidents but I have just realised that I have been chuntering on so I had better go.

Yours Saleswomanly

Celia

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MOTHER’S DAY, MUSCATO & HERMAPHRODITES

MOTHER’S DAY, MUSCATO & HERMAPHRODITES

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, my day started with this…….
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A MOTHER’S DAY card, a lovely thought but I just wish I had shut the BATHROOM door before weighing myself! I have obviously scarred my darling son for life.

In the afternoon my dear friend Veronica and I went to a MOTHER’S DAY VINTAGE TEA. As all our offspring were absent we went together and were treated to delicious savouries and fabulous cakes.

We WADDLED back to my lovely SUMMERHOUSE where Veronica pulled from her RECEPTACLE A bottle of SPARKLING PINK MUSCATO. Apparently it was a gift from a young SOAP KITTEN. We thought it would be rude not to drink it, so we did.

There was a disturbing moment when Veronica declared herself a HERMAPHRODITE!

I can only assume it was something to do with the PINK DRINK! The word just seemed to bubble up with the MUSCATO. There were a few moments of complete silence until we both collapsed with the giggles.
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Yours Bubbily

Celia

SUITCASES, SKITTLES AND SLOW-COOKERS

20140302-050724-pm.jpgSUITCASES, SKITTLES AND SLOW-COOKERS.

What a lovely RUMMAGE for a Sunday morning. Veronica and I set forth for a VINTAGE FAYRE in a local HOSTELRY. We love a RUMMAGE, you never know what you will find.

Quite by accident we avoided the £1 entrance fee by going in a side door. To be fair this was not our fault as the lack of SIGNAGE made it almost impossible to find your way in.

An interesting selection of stalls and goods greeted us. Veronica is off like A GREYHOUND OUT OF A TRAP as she makes a quick sorty around the room, trying to spot a bargain. She is a very DISCERNING browser, Veronica and won’t buy just any old thing, it has to be right. She did make a purchase a small brown suitcase REDOLENT of PADDINGTON BEAR.

I purchased a rather smart STAINLESS-STEEL SPOUT for a wine bottle. We then intended to peruse the BOOT FAYRE but due to the inclement weather it was cancelled. As we started to drive away we spotted a small notice of a TABLE-TOP SALE in the hall next to SAINSBURYS, due to start in an hour.

Why not we thought and parked up and popped into SAINSBURYS for a lovely cup of tea, while we waited.

What a MISCELLANY of items were on display, that is if you could fight your way through the crowd to reach the stall. Veronica of course was off and running, ELBOWS FLYING, eyes darting THIS WAY AND THAT.

I followed on at a more sedate pace, contemplating the BARRY MANILOW COLLECTION alongside a GIFT SET for a man, comprising of a SET OF MINIATURE SKITTLES, a pack of cards, a bar of soap and a bottle of body lotion. WHY I ask myself?What was their reasoning in putting those items in the same gift box?

As we were leaving Veronica had her eye on a SLOW-COOKER, whilst two BETTY BOOP clocks had captured mine. They were on the same stall. I negotiated and purchased my clocks. Veronica did the same with her slow-cooker. I don’t know why but I feel I may use my clocks more than she will use her slow-cooker.

Yours Tick-Tockedly

Celia

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