TABLE-TOPS, HOT KNOBS & BANANAS
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, My dear friend Veronica and I stepped into the RETAIL world when we booked a table at the hall next to SAINSBURYS for a TABLE-TOP SALE.
Ron the organiser, explained over the phone that we were to put our sale items in a SAINSBURYS trolley and make our way to the rear entrance.
Veronica asked if we could just carry our goods in. Decidedly not. According to Ron The only way is to transport the goods in a SUPERMARKET trolley.
We duly parked and collected a trolley each, loaded up and made our way to the rear. Where we joined a collection of trolleys and a DISTRAUGHT Ron. Apparently the over 80’s GAY GORDONS CLUB had overrun, there were vague mutterings and accusations of the EARL-GRAY being SPIKED. But the upshot was poor Ron had no tables ready.
We joined the throng, there was a bit of POSTURING and PUSHING as people tried to maintain their position and some distinctly unfriendly glares. Which I turned away from and found myself face to face with a very pleasant lady and we chatted while we waited.
We had nearly unpacked every thing, when a young lady accosted us and said “this is my table”. It’s a very competitive business, the table-top sale!
Ron bless him soon sorted things out and we were able to stay where we were. I was selling a rather smart LINEN skirt and discussed the joys of linen and my price with a woman, she then gave me a superior smile and said “it is too big for me” and walked off.
A little lady tottered up and asked “does your knob get hot?” It took me a while to realise she was talking about a TEAPOT!
“I’m not sure” I said. That’s another sale lost but it was OK because two very nice young men came along a little later and bought it. I’m sure they have LADYLIKE tea parties.
Veronica nudged me and directed my gaze to the older ladies across the way, “old ladies eat a lot of bananas don’t they?” I must say it wasn’t something I had noticed before, but now that she had mentioned it, yes they do.
Poor Veronica had to intervene between two customers who were fighting for the same spot and a loud man shouted in my ear “what’s the damage? I hadn’t a clue as to what he meant. Veronica interpreted that he wanted to know how much the FRIDGE MAGNETS were. “10p” I told him
“Humph,” he said walking away, last of the big spenders!
A man requested a price for a huge plastic tub of TAPESTRY wool and a tapestry. We agreed a price and off he went across to the banana eating ladies, there was a lot of discussion and then he came back, “Is this something a MAN can do” he asked
Not being sure if he meant eating the bananas but opting for the tapestry, I reassured him “Of course, lots of men knit and sew, there is equality in most things now you know, so if you want to you can”.
There were many incidents but I have just realised that I have been chuntering on so I had better go.