I AM A TROLL FOLDEROLL!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, Hirsute Roley is in recovery.

This morning he insisted on walking down one of his favourite lanes and stopping at the little bridge across a stream. Suddenly he STOPPED DEAD, one little paw raised like a QUESTION MARK in the air, then he bravely crept around the bridge towards the water.

Stopping again in FEAR AND TERROR trembling, as a GIANT TROLL came out from under the bridge with a BIG STICK.

I scooped him up as a second GIANT TROLL came out from the other end of the bridge.

The to the rescue came the POSTMAN in his van and Hirsute Roley rallied as the post van slowed and a small meaty biscuit dropped into his mouth.

Who knew that the WATER WAYS employed GIANT TROLLS to clear underneath BRIDGES.

Yours Folderolly

Celia

HOME SHOPPING, STALKING & NEW WOOL

HOME SHOPPING, STALKING & NEW WOOL
Oh dear Ronald has discovered HOME SHOPPING CHANNELS. He appears to have ordered two CERAMIC PANS.

I was getting ready to go out to PANTOMIME rehearsals. I had only left him for 20 minutes alone with the TV REMOTE, whilst I collected, COSTUMES, TABLET with the music on, SCRIPT and TORCH.

When I returned to say goodbye, I wasn’t allowed to leave I had to stand in my HAT, SCARF, WINTER COAT AND FUR-LINED BOOTS, in the heated SITTING ROOM and watch a DEMONSTRATION by a YOUNG HIP CHEF cooking in one pan whilst cooking and burning something in a second pan. Miraculously the YOUNG HIP CHEF took the BURNT OFFERINGS tipped them into a bin and proceeded to wipe clean with a piece of KITCHEN ROLL said BURNT pan.

Ronald was seriously impressed and now that he has taken up cooking he NEEDED these pans, he told me. I left before I passed out with HEAT-STROKE or BOREDOM.

On my return, I checked my E-MAILS before going to bed and there sat SMUGLY in my inbox a receipt for TWO CERAMIC PANS!

I received a parcel today and Ronald ran into the hall shouting “Are those my pans?”

No dear it is my NEW WOOL, how exciting.

I had ordered some to knit a CHUNKY SPRING CARDIGAN for Saskia and Seraphina, I have the WOOL for Morellos but I think she wants to knit it for herself.

So I suggest dear ladies and occasional gentleman, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR TV REMOTE IN UNTRAINED HANDS – CARELESSNESS COSTS YOU POUNDS!

Ronald will be STALKING the POSTMAN until his parcel arrives.

Yours Woolily

Celia