What a lovely evening Veronica and I had along with a few lady friends and the odd gentleman (sorry Sebastian) in the vicarage gardens. Annabelle, Sebastian, Teresa and Gwendoline had brought a lovely picnic and Veronica and I had posh fish and chips. Teresa would keep going on about her sausage and eating it in a lascivious manner making poor Sebastian wince.

The sun was shining, the wine was flowing and we were entertained with the bucolic ‘Larkrise to Candleford’. The cast was very enthusiastic in fact one actor nearly took Annabelle and myself out in act two with a seven week old piece of bread flung at ninety miles an hour. It,s not what you expect in a vicarage garden I had to steady myself with another glass of wine and then another glass for the shock.

Of course Veronica found this highly amusing, needless to say she had consumed the best part of a bottle of wine. Looking like a ‘mummy’ swathed from head to toe in a cream blanket, she looked across at me and started laughing in a most unladylike way accusing me of going all hip-hop and looking like Jay Z whoever that is. Admittedly I had my sunglasses on but I think it was my new hat that she was mocking. She was jealous. After all Gwendoline sported some strange sort of outback hat and she didn’t laugh at her but then she did look rather dashing. the end of the evening she started to say naughty words over and over because she thought it was funny in the vicarage garden. Unfortunately I too had sipped too often at the vin rouge and joined in, luckily the vicar wasn’t there.

Sadly I offended Veronica on our way to the public house, I am embarrassed to say I called her self-centred when what I meant to say was single-minded. She can bear a grudge can Veronica and hold on to it. I am going to have to do some ladylike grovelling.

Yours Humbly


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