My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I have heard it is quite common to have FLASHBACKS after a TRAUMA. And although it has been quite some time since I was in the wonderful city of MARRAKECH in MOROCCO along with the joyful memories are a few traumatic ones. (I am sure you will all remember the rock that attacked my toe in the ATLAS MOUNTAINS which has now dropped off) My dear friend Veronica and I shared a beautiful en-suite bedroom in the RIAD ANYSSATES and one morning as usual I was up first, showered and dressed before Veronica even stirred. If it wasn’t TRAUMATICALLY FUNNY enough to witness the WILD-HEADED Veronica emerge from the CONVOLUTED, TORTUOUS heap in the bed every morning, imagine my HYSTERICS when putting my make-up on using the large wall mirror a VISION of Veronica appeared in her BRA and with a large BLUE TASSEL SWINGING JAUNTILY from her KNICKER-LEG!
p.s. I apologise on Veronicas behalf Nicholas as on her return to the UK and unpacking her suitcase a TASSEL emerged that may well belong to your amazing Riad. I am very concerned Veronica may have acquired a FETISH and TASSELS are not a good look on a middle-aged woman out FORAGING.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman we were bouncing along in our mini bus when we skidded to a halt on the edge of a precipice for this photo op of a Berber village.
We had been advised to wear plenty of clothes as it would be cold in the mountains. We didn’t have a lot of clothes so I wore my stylish GREY JERSEY JACKET and my dear friend Veronica borrowed a rather un-fetching FLEECE. The only acceptable time to wear a FLEECE is if you are doing a sponsored NIGHT-WALK for CHARITY! Luckily it was 84f and Veronica didn’t have to embarrass herself!
Driving around hare pin bends climbing steeply, we thought it was a MISSION IMPOSSIBLE which funnily enough they filmed there but eventually we arrived at RIAD DAR TASSA just in time for……
Or as we know it MINT TEA.
Of course Veronica was snitchy because the young man served me first.
p.s. Where is all this FLEECE coming from, it’s everywhere, cushions, blankets, dog beds, jackets, scarfs, hats, gloves, dusters, slippers. Ronald has even got some trousers in FLEECE.
FLEECE that’s a misnomer as the stuff hasn’t been within a mile of a sheep!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, who doesn’t like a bit of long tall Gaul?
No-one I hear you cry, so let me introduce you to NICHOLAS our host at the RIAD ANYSSATES. Apart from being all PARISIAN and GORGEOUS nothing is too much trouble, he definitely knows how to look after us LADIES!
His wonderful staff, FATIMA and the LADIES and especially dear MOHAMMED and all.
What is there not to like about PANCAKES and CAKE for breakfast?
Tempered by FRESH FRUIT, YOGHURT, TOAST TEA and COFFEE.
If your stay coincides with my dear friend Veronica BEWARE! You’ll never know what you might find on your breakfast table, she does love a bit of FORAGING and will have been into all sorts of NOOKS and CRANNIES up the SOUK!
SMILE WARMS THE HEART OF THE LADYGARDEN.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, WE HAVE LANDED.
Isn’t it the most enjoyable sensation when you step out of the plane at the airport onto that top step to the warmth, exotic smells and sounds?
And isn’t it an enjoyable sensation when your eyes lock on to an extraordinarily HANDSOME young airport official at the bottom of the steps.
And isn’t it an enjoyable sensation when he runs up the steps, gives me a gorgeous smile and carries my case down for me.
And isn’t it an enjoyable sensation to look back at my dear friend Veronica’s face as she lugs her case down the steps behind me.
THE MARRAKECH EXPRESS AKA EASYJET
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, you will be pleased to know that my dear friend Veronica and I made it onto the MARRAKECH EXPRESS or EASYJET FLIGHT 6021, with our ‘WATER BOTTLES’ intact.
We were lucky enough to be seated next to a delightful lady J who gave us useful advice for our stay; she and her partner are restoring a RIAD and we hope to keep in touch.
Veronica was on the AISLE seat in order to stretch her legs but unfortunately there was a group of people who thought it was a good idea to stand and chat in the aisle for virtually the WHOLE FLIGHT! One of whom stuck her BOTTOM next to Veronica’s head! Which I wouldn’t do especially after she’s downed HALF A BOTTLE OF VODKA!
Veronica was on the point of ATTACK when the CROQUE MONSIEUR, TWIX and TEA was served.
In the AIRPORT Lady J was a hero when she ran back out onto the TARMAC and FLAGGED down our AIRPLANE to retrieve my GLASSES which I had left in the seat pocket, what a woman.
RONALD OF ARABIA, yes my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, Ronald loves his new scarf , a present from Morocco.
Yours Sandily, Celia
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, in the AIRPORT on our way to MARRAKECH at the DUTY FREE, purchasing a litre and a half of GIN and Veronica a litre and a half of VODKA; the assistant asked for my PASSPORT at the same time scratching her chest.
“My new BRA is really ITCHY” she said “do you know what I can do about it?”
“It’s new so it has something called ‘SIZE’ in it. Wash it and it will be fine.”
“I knew you’d know what to do, thanks”
Veronica is causing a kerfuffle at the other till as she can’t find her PASSPORT.
“I’ve lost it” she panics whilst rummaging in her bag.
Dour assistant says “So, you don’t want this now then?” Holding up the VODKA.
“Of course I want it” snaps an exasperated Veronica.
I had a further rummage and quickly find her passport.
Big sigh from dour assistant “So you want it now do you?”
Emptying two bottles of water in the TOILETS and filling them at the sink with GIN/VODKA & TONIC someone came in. So engrossed it took a while before we realised we were being watched. Giggling like naughty schoolgirls whilst concentrating on our pouring we told her about our clever wheeze.
Arms folded over her LANDYARD and AIRPORT uniform, (which we’d just noticed) she admonishes us saying IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA and we have been seen on the CCTV!
Stuffing the bottles in our bags we made our escape and headed for the departure gate.
p.s. More of Marrakech later