My dear ladies and occasional gentleman ‘IT LOOKS LIKE’ I am off to see SIR TOM JONES ‘IN A FIELD OF YELLOW DAISYS’ at Powderham castle!!!
‘I KNOW’ I’m going to get ‘FUNNY FAMILIAR FORGOTTEN FEELINGS’ so ”IT’S NOT UNUSUAL ‘ for me to be wearing my DOUBLE GUSSET SILK KNICKERS.
Tom, ‘WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT’? Well ‘ SHE’S A LADY’, Celia, in ‘THE GREEN GREEN GRASS OF THE LADYGARDEN HOME’.
Tom ‘SEX BOMB’ ‘I KNOW’ ‘YOU NEED LOVE LIKE I DO’, ‘I CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION ‘.
‘AT THIS MOMENT’ ‘ARE YOU GONNA GO MY WAY’ and ‘LOVE ME TONIGHT’?
‘MAMA TOLD ME NOT TO COME’ (thank God for double gussets) but ‘ALL I EVER NEED IS YOU’
Tom, ‘YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU BEEN MISSING’, ‘I’M COMING HOME’ for your ‘KISS’
SPAM-BOT ON THE LOOSE!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman who knew? I’ve never heard of a SPAM-BOT but apparently there is one on the LOOSE.
And it’s not Ronald’s DERRIERE after too many SPAM FRITTERS!
I have been BOMBARDED with new SPAM followers from a NEW BOT but the wonderful HAPPINESS ENGINEERS at WORDPRESS are working hard on BLOCKING them.
P.S. Just a reminder that this WONDERFUL book ‘CELIA LADYGARDEN AND THE CURIOUS CURIOSITY’ is available on AMAZON. It’s all about an INCIDENT that happened in our little North Devon village, of course dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I am the HEROINE.
These are great short stories by my dear friend and co-author, also available on AMAZON.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, as you may well have noticed I bypassed the ‘Season’s Greetings’ bit, I am sure that you had enough reading to do with all those Christmas cards, messages yada, yada, yada, without me adding to the burden.
But here I am wishing you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous NEW YEAR.
Here is the ADORABLE new addition to our family POLLY. She was rescued from a PUPPY FARM by the wonderful charity MANY TEARS RESCUE www.manytearsrescue.org/
As you can see Hirsute Roley is being an absolute STAR as they get to know one another.
If you are thinking of taking a dog into your family PLEASE DO consider ADOPTING a rescue dog.
We saved THREE dogs by adopting Polly. Polly herself, her foster parents were able to take another dog out of kennels for Christmas and the charity was able to RESCUE another dog.
Polly is an ABSOLUTE POPPET, very quiet (except when I am in the bathroom and she has taken to sitting outside giving little barks) follows me around everywhere and is happiest either on my lap or next to me (or Ronald in a pinch).
We had not planned on sharing the MARITAL BED with two dogs but Hey Ho! Saves on HOT WATER BOTTLES.
IN THE PINK and please my dear ladies and occasional gentleman don’t alert the RSPCA.
I’m sure I am not the only lady of a certain age who is on the horns of a dilemma.
There are SILVER THREADS weaving themselves through the bizarrely darker than normal new growth at my CROWN.
Having waited to see what would happen and hoping that it would all turn silver, then I could have FUNKY (oops spelt that wrong 3 times😆) COLOURED streaks, I was DESPERATE!
At the back of the cupboard I found an old hair dye, GREAT!
Next day after WASHING Hirsute Roley’s little FEET after his walk (our small village is awash with SHEEP SH.T and MUD!) I dried him with the towel I’d used around my shoulders, it hadn’t gotten wet.
Later that day I noticed the hair around his HAIRY little nose, mouth and chest and various other places had a REDDISH HUE!
It’s difficult to see in this picture but it’s there, we have our own LITTLE RUDOLPH.
LOGTASTIC! Ronald cried and no it wasn’t because the TOILET was BLOCKED, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.
Which was good because it’s raining and I didn’t want him stood out in the ELEMENTS with his HOSE down the drains.
No it’s because he had a load of LOGS delivered and that’s better than CHRISTMAS to Ronald. What is it with men and logs?
My dear friend and little ghostly writer and I are working on another book about my adventures in our little village in Devon, to be published next year.
In the meantime Glenda has published a book of short stories which would be a great little stocking filler.
p.s. ‘Celia Ladygarden and the Curious Curiosity’ is also available on Amazon
IT DOESN’T WORK! Asserted Ronald when I asked him to make sure he had his MOBILE PHONE with him and that he would answer me when I phoned him to pick me up from the HAIRDRESSERS.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I asked this because he never answers his mobile and I have to try and catch him on the house phone.
“It doesn’t work” says Ronald.
“OK I’ll ring you now and you can show me IT DOESN’T WORK” I reply.
I ring him and he jabs away at the screen as if he’s trying to drill a hole in it and shouts triumphantly “see IT DOESN’T WORK!”
I lean over and swipe the screen, “it’s working now”.
He’s only had the phone since LAST CHRISTMAS!
GETTING THE GOAT
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, RONALD was completely oblivious of his STRANGE ATTRACTION for PYGMY GOATS!