IN THE PINK and please my dear ladies and occasional gentleman don’t alert the RSPCA.
I’m sure I am not the only lady of a certain age who is on the horns of a dilemma.
There are SILVER THREADS weaving themselves through the bizarrely darker than normal new growth at my CROWN.
Having waited to see what would happen and hoping that it would all turn silver, then I could have FUNKY (oops spelt that wrong 3 times😆) COLOURED streaks, I was DESPERATE!
At the back of the cupboard I found an old hair dye, GREAT!
Next day after WASHING Hirsute Roley’s little FEET after his walk (our small village is awash with SHEEP SH.T and MUD!) I dried him with the towel I’d used around my shoulders, it hadn’t gotten wet.
Later that day I noticed the hair around his HAIRY little nose, mouth and chest and various other places had a REDDISH HUE!
It’s difficult to see in this picture but it’s there, we have our own LITTLE RUDOLPH.
LOGTASTIC! Ronald cried and no it wasn’t because the TOILET was BLOCKED, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.
Which was good because it’s raining and I didn’t want him stood out in the ELEMENTS with his HOSE down the drains.
No it’s because he had a load of LOGS delivered and that’s better than CHRISTMAS to Ronald. What is it with men and logs?
My dear friend and little ghostly writer and I are working on another book about my adventures in our little village in Devon, to be published next year.
In the meantime Glenda has published a book of short stories which would be a great little stocking filler.
p.s. ‘Celia Ladygarden and the Curious Curiosity’ is also available on Amazon
IT DOESN’T WORK! Asserted Ronald when I asked him to make sure he had his MOBILE PHONE with him and that he would answer me when I phoned him to pick me up from the HAIRDRESSERS.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I asked this because he never answers his mobile and I have to try and catch him on the house phone.
“It doesn’t work” says Ronald.
“OK I’ll ring you now and you can show me IT DOESN’T WORK” I reply.
I ring him and he jabs away at the screen as if he’s trying to drill a hole in it and shouts triumphantly “see IT DOESN’T WORK!”
I lean over and swipe the screen, “it’s working now”.
He’s only had the phone since LAST CHRISTMAS!
GETTING THE GOAT
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, RONALD was completely oblivious of his STRANGE ATTRACTION for PYGMY GOATS!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman last night I awoke to Ronald A FURTLING IN THE LADYGARDEN.
It was 2.00 am and he’d let Hirsute Roley out for an EMERGENCY WEE, unfortunately he then wandered off for a SNUFFLE and Ronald A FURTLING in the bushes couldn’t locate him in the DARK.
He then stood up and decided to enjoy the wonders of the NIGHT SKY.
P.S. Thank you to all you dear ladies and occasional gentleman who have bought my book ‘CELIA LADYGARDEN AND THE CURIOUS CURIOSITY’ written by my dear little ghostwriter friend Glenda Barnett, available on Amazon.com
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, Hirsute Roley is in recovery.
This morning he insisted on walking down one of his favourite lanes and stopping at the little bridge across a stream. Suddenly he STOPPED DEAD, one little paw raised like a QUESTION MARK in the air, then he bravely crept around the bridge towards the water.
Stopping again in FEAR AND TERROR trembling, as a GIANT TROLL came out from under the bridge with a BIG STICK.
I scooped him up as a second GIANT TROLL came out from the other end of the bridge.
The to the rescue came the POSTMAN in his van and Hirsute Roley rallied as the post van slowed and a small meaty biscuit dropped into his mouth.
Who knew that the WATER WAYS employed GIANT TROLLS to clear underneath BRIDGES.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, one of my lovely daughters gave me an AMAZON ECHO for Mother’s Day. Although I am not a one for gadgets, this one is rather marvelous. ‘ALEXA’ is very compliant unlike the STRIDENT notes of our last SAT-NAV, although the current one is far more PLEASANT.
ALEXA did turn herself on accidentally when we were watching a documentary about ALEXANDER THE GREAT but apart from that no problems. Until TODAY.
Little Hirsute Roley is a bit of a TALKER which is LOVELY and AMUSING and it is part of his many TALENTS that we love.
Hirsute Roley had come in from the garden, started TALKING and managed to TURN ON ALEXA!
His chosen music was ELTON JOHN singing TINY DANCER.
Now we know why ALEXA is on and MUSIC is PLAYING when we return from shopping. CANINE CONTROL.
The FACE of INNOCENCE.