Please look away now occasional gentleman.

My dear ladies we all know that FANNY FARTS are a natural occurrence for us women. If we are honest they usually happen at embarrassing moments.

But I believe we should celebrate this phenomenon and discard the embarrassment. Let us be proud of our FANNY FARTS after all, men cannot do them.

So when you exit the lavatory to a waiting queue of ladies after a spectacular FANNY FART, take a bow.

When you are DOWNWARD DOGGING at Yoga and a FANNY FART rips through the chilled out class, be PROUD.

Be aware that horse-riding can result in multiple FANNY FARTS.

When you are in the GREENGROCERS standing on one leg stretched out and reaching up to that top shelf for a KIWI FRUIT and a FANNY FART escapes, turn and smile at the other shoppers, tossing your fruit in a nonchalant manner.

The man in your life will be delighted with the extra action, should one occur during intimate relations.

I must admit to enjoying a FANNY FART when I’m super excited because I’m in a new WOOL shop with gorgeous wools.

Remember ladies be proud of our bodies and their functions, never be embarrassed, embrace those FANNY FARTS!

Yours Noisily


p.s. Just to clarify for my dear ladies and occasional gentleman who reside in other countries, FANNY FARTS do not erupt from ladies bottoms.

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