VERONICA’S TASSELS

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I have heard it is quite common to have FLASHBACKS after a TRAUMA. And although it has been quite some time since I was in the wonderful city of MARRAKECH in MOROCCO along with the joyful memories are a few traumatic ones. (I am sure you will all remember the rock that attacked my toe in the ATLAS MOUNTAINS which has now dropped off) My dear friend Veronica and I shared a beautiful en-suite bedroom in the RIAD ANYSSATES and one morning as usual I was up first, showered and dressed before Veronica even stirred. image If it wasn’t TRAUMATICALLY FUNNY enough to witness the WILD-HEADED Veronica emerge from the CONVOLUTED, TORTUOUS heap in the bed every morning, imagine my HYSTERICS when putting my make-up on using the large wall mirror a VISION of Veronica appeared in her BRA and with a large BLUE TASSEL SWINGING JAUNTILY from her KNICKER-LEG!

Yours Tassely

Celia

p.s. I apologise on Veronicas behalf Nicholas as on her return to the UK and unpacking her suitcase a TASSEL emerged that may well belong to your amazing Riad. I am very concerned Veronica may have acquired a FETISH and TASSELS are not a good look on a middle-aged woman out FORAGING.

HAPPY ST GEORGE’S DAY

HAPPY ST GEORGE’S DAY, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I apologise for my absence.

As you can see Ronald and I have been KNIGHTED by my dear friend HER MAJ whilst on a little ladylike break in WELSH WALES.

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It’s LORD AND LADY CELIAGARDEN now, I know all my dear ladies and occasional gentleman will be thrilled for us.

I’ve just to calm Ronald down, he’s online as we speak hunting for ERMINE and HIGH HEELED SHOES WITH A BUCKLE ON.

More on mine and Veronica’s MARRAKECH adventure soon.

Yours Ladyshiply

Celia

WHO DOESN’T LIKE A BIT OF LONG TALL GAUL?

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, who doesn’t like a bit of long tall Gaul?imageimage

No-one I hear you cry, so let me introduce you to NICHOLAS our host at the RIAD ANYSSATES.  Apart from being all PARISIAN and GORGEOUS  nothing is too much trouble, he dimageefinitely knows how to look after us LADIES!

His wonderful staff, FATIMA and the LADIES and especially dear MOHAMMED and all.

What is there not to like about PANCAKES and CAKE for breakfast?

Tempered by FRESH FRUIT,  YOGHURT, TOAST TEA and COFFEE.

If your stay coincides with my dear friend Veronica BEWARE! You’ll never know what you might find on your breakfast table, she does love a bit of FORAGING and will have been into all sorts of NOOKS and CRANNIES up the SOUK!

Yours Gaulingly

Celia

http://www.riadanyssates.com

SMILE WARMS THE HEART OF THE LADYGARDEN

SMILE WARMS THE HEART OF THE LADYGARDEN.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, WE HAVE LANDED.

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Isn’t it the most enjoyable sensation when you step out of the plane at the airport onto that top step to the warmth, exotic smells and sounds?

And isn’t it an enjoyable sensation when your eyes lock on to an extraordinarily HANDSOME young airport official at the bottom of the steps.

And isn’t it an enjoyable sensation when he runs up the steps, gives me a gorgeous smile and carries my case down for me.

And isn’t it an enjoyable sensation to look back at my dear friend Veronica’s face as she lugs her case down the steps behind me.

Yours Smugly

Celia

BRA SIZE, TOILETS & LANYARDS

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, in the AIRPORT on our way to MARRAKECH at the DUTY FREE, purchasing a litre and a half of GIN and Veronica a litre and a half of VODKA; the assistant asked for my PASSPORT at the same time scratching her chest.
“My new BRA is really ITCHY” she said “do you know what I can do about it?”

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“It’s new so it has something called ‘SIZE’ in it. Wash it and it will be fine.”

“I knew you’d know what to do, thanks”

Really!

Veronica is causing a kerfuffle at the other till as she can’t find her PASSPORT.
“I’ve lost it” she panics whilst rummaging in her bag.
Dour assistant says “So, you don’t want this now then?” Holding up the VODKA.
“Of course I want it” snaps an exasperated Veronica.
I had a further rummage and quickly find her passport.
Big sigh from dour assistant “So you want it now do you?”

Emptying two bottles of water in the TOILETS and filling them at the sink with GIN/VODKA & TONIC someone came in.  So engrossed it took a while before we realised we were being watched. Giggling like naughty schoolgirls whilst concentrating on our pouring we told her about our clever wheeze.

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Arms folded over her LANDYARD and AIRPORT uniform, (which we’d just noticed) she admonishes us saying IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA and we have been seen on the CCTV!

Stuffing the bottles in our bags we made our escape and headed for the departure gate.

Yours Flyingly

Celia

p.s. More of Marrakech later

BUM-BOLSTER, FRINGING, CHORIZO & BUTTER BEAN SOUP

Bum-Cushion
Bum-Cushion
Dames Dress back
Dames Dress back
Dames Dress front
Dames Dress front
BUM-BOLSTER, FRINGING, CHORIZO & BUTTER BEAN SOUP

Today I decided I would finish the DAMES DRESS, it has taken me about six hours of hand sewing, I hope you think the finished result was worth it.

Ronald has had to help sew the separate BUM-BOLSTER as I just could not push the needle through. At least it’s a new skill he has learnt and he’ll be able to sew his trousers up in a crisis.

Don’t you just love a bit of FRINGING, it’s not just for COWBOYS you know.

CHORIZO AND BUTTER BEAN SOUP for lunch, with buttered toast on the side.

After walking little Roley with his HOODED-PARKER on to protect his little ears as he still has an EAR INFECTION. It was blowing a gale as we dashed between HAIL-STONES and driving rain, our thoughts turned towards warmer climes and HOLIDAY DESTINATIONS.

I’ve just dragged myself and three large pieces of white material out from under the bed after a mistaken purchase of an extra large ladies blouse with rather pretty buttons and full sleeves that I thought would fit “mellors” in the panto. He of ‘lady Chatterly’s Lover fame, loosely based of course, failed to fit CHUNKY actor it was meant to. Can I make a ROMANTIC ‘MR DARCY’ type blouse/shirt?WATCH THIS SPACE.

CRAB’S ANYONE?

CRABS ANYONE?
CRABS ANYONE?

CRABS ANYONE? Pocohontas, Little Nanook and hirsute Roley inspect their catch.

An extremely viscious crustacean, cross at being hauled out of the sea once again by little people and their enticing bacon bits. Having previously been caught and suffered loss of limbs by an unknown assailant; it wasn’t best pleased to repeat the experience and with thoughts of crab sandwiches in it’s head, demonstrated this by a malevolent snap with a resultant cut to Little Nanook’s index finger.

Pocohontas & Little Nanook decided to return said crusty and proceeded WITHOUT caution down the slippery slipway to the sea. Pocohontas acting like Dangerous Doris went even further down some crumbling steps giving me heart palpitations and a desperate need for the ‘Ladies’.

Little Nanook sensibly decided he would remain at a safer position and crusty could take his chances and he spun around flinging the creature at high velocity from the bucket in a perfect arc and rapidly dropping the few feet or so back to his watery home.

Picnicking on fresh cod & chips with lashings of salt & vinegar eaten straight from the paper, whilst looking out at the yachts sailing past. The perfect end to the summer holidays.

Yours Crabbily

Celia

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