IT DOESN’T WORK! Asserted Ronald when I asked him to make sure he had his MOBILE PHONE with him and that he would answer me when I phoned him to pick me up from the HAIRDRESSERS.

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I asked this because he never answers his mobile and I have to try and catch him on the house phone.

“It doesn’t work” says Ronald.

“OK I’ll ring you now and you can show me IT DOESN’T WORK” I reply.

I ring him and he jabs away at the screen as if he’s trying to drill a hole in it and shouts triumphantly “see IT DOESN’T WORK!”

I lean over and swipe the screen, “it’s working now”.
He’s only had the phone since LAST CHRISTMAS!

Yours frustratedly




Yesterday my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, myself and Veronica were on our way back from a busy ‘HOGWASH’ day CRAFT FAYRE, when we INADVERTANTLY stopped at the PUB. It seemed churlish not to enter and partake of a little RESTORATIVE WINE, so we did.

The POLITE young man with the HAIR behind the bar (I think he may have been a reject from OME DIRECTION) requested our drinks. Veronica in as FAST AS A FERRET asked for a DRY WHITE WINE SPRITZER, this was duly served to her. Turning to me he asked “and what would you like?”
“A glass of SAUVIGNON BLANC” I replied.
“Would you like the bottle with a straw in?” He asked.
Quite frankly I was shocked, what is a lady to think? Did I look like some kind of ‘ALCY?” Why me and not Veronica?
“How very dare you, what are you implying?” I asked.
He just laughed and said “I guess that’s just a medium then.

I think it may be all that HAIR, it ADDLES the brain, it’s not all that good for a young man even if it is only on the very top of the head. After all remember the HIPPIES?

Yours Affrontedly


Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: