APPARENTLY THIS IS AN…………….

IRON!!! Yes an IRON my dear ladies and occasional gentleman. I know!!! It looks more like …. Well I’m not sure really.

I have a lovely new FRIEND and he was very EXCITED about the purchase of this SPACE-AGE iron.

Speaking as a lady who hasn’t used one of these in over 20 years, I’m CONFUSED.

Yours Flatly

Celia

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, there have been a SERIES of UNFORTUNATE EVENTS.

We were looking after our son’s dogs when UNFORTUNATELY the puppy JUMPED Ronald’s BARRIER of ladders on top of the garden wall and LEAPT into the field with the BULLOCKS.

 I slipped on my WELLINGTONS whilst YELLING at Ronald (who was in bed drinking tea) and made my way in my DRESSING GOWN along the road and down the lane. 

I thought RONALD was following me to the FIELD-GATE but I heard a COMMOTION and Roley barking in distress.

Ronald had decided in his WISDOM to follow the dog and JUMP over into the field.

UNFORTUNATELY as he LEAPT he caught his leg on the BARBED WIRE fence, to steady himself he REACHED and GRABBED the LADDER  which then LANDED ON TOP of him.

FORTUNATELY the weight of it disengaged his leg from the BARBED WIRE.

UNFORTUNATELY he fell into a VAST pile of COW SHIT.

FORTUNATELY it was a soft landing.

UNFORTUNATELY he received numerous PUNCTURES, CUTS bruises and a possible BROKEN RIB.

FORTUNATELY the dog came to me and slid under the field-gate.

The MORAL of the story THINK before you LEAP.

Yours Fortunately

Celia

WOMAN NEARLY STRANGLED IN FREAK FOREST FALL

Dear ladies and occasional gentleman, this was NEARLY the HEADLINE in our local paper after I had a SPECTACULAR FALL in the FOREST.


Ronald and I were on our way back through the FOREST with our two HAIRY little DOGS

When I suddenly found myself FLYING through the air and FACE-PLANTING down on the FOREST floor.

A SOFT landing you might think and yes it was except my KNEES landed on a HANDY THICK BRANCH that was laying across the pathway.

Ronald had a slight PANIC and SLID his arm UNDER my NECK and tried to LIFT me up half STRANGLING ME  in the process.

I DID NOT WANT TO MOVE! 

I wanted to lay there and assess the  DAMAGE,  which was difficult when someone is trying to HOICK you up by your NECK!

LEAVE ME! JUST LEAVE ME A MINUTE! I was trying to shout but it was only when hirsute Roley intervened did Ronald RELEASE my NECK.

That was THREE WEEKS AGO and my KNEES are still BLACK,  BLUE, PURPLE.

FUNNILY enough RONALD has a few BLACK and BLUE BRUISES too.

Yours Sorely

Celia

GHOSTLY WRITING

GHOSTLY. WRITING my dear ladies and occasional gentleman well may you ask.

I’m back working with my dear ghostly writer friend on our NEXT BOOK  with the working title of:

‘ENS FER PETTIN’. Spellcheck is struggling with the DEVON DIALECT!


Yours Writingly

Celia

How Exciting!

EXCITING indeed my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

My dear friend RICHARD DEES the well know  SCI-FI with a humorous twist author (Andora Pett series a must read) has very kindly featured my dear friend Glenda Barnett in his INDIE SHOWCASE.

Many of you know Glenda is my little ghostly writer who pens my adventures and life in our village St Urith With Well in deepest DEVON.

Indie Showcase

Please click on the blue Indie Showcase.

Oops, there goes my LUNCH,  Ronald has just tipped my cup of SOUP down the sink. He thought it was the dregs of my TEA.

Yours Hungrily

Celiaimg_3575

CELIA FINDS AN ANGEL

CELIA FINDS AN ANGEL, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman this is another book about me, Ronald, my two hairy little dogs and our FUNNY QUIRKY life in our NORTH DEVON village. If you would like a good GIGGLE and a roam around NORTH DEVON, then you NEED this BOOK.

Ebook.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07G68SX6J
Paperback 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1718159374

  •  

A BIG SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY LOVELY FOLLOWERS,  WHAT AN AMAZING BUNCH YOU ARE. HELLO TO YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FOR READING MY LITTLE STORIES. SORRY FOR THE FEW I MISSED BUT HERE MOST OF YOU ARE:

Algeria, Austria, Australia, Bangladesh, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, China, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Ghana, India, Indonesia, Ireland,  Italy, Israel, Jamaica, Japan, Kuwait, Malaysia, Mexico, Morocco, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Pakistan, Puerto Rico, Qutar, Romania, Russia, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, Sweden, Thailand, U.K., USA.

Yours Globely

Celia.

CELIA FINDS AN ANGEL

CELIA FINDS AN ANGEL, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman this another book about me, Ronald, my two hairy little dogs and our FUNNY QUIRKY life in our NORTH DEVON village. If you would like a good GIGGLE and a roam around NORTH DEVON, then you NEED this BOOK.

Ebook.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07G68SX6J
Paperback 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1718159374

  •  

A BIG SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY LOVELY FOLLOWERS,  WHAT AN AMAZING BUNCH YOU ARE. HELLO TO YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FOR READING MY LITTLE STORIES. SORRY FOR THE FEW I MISSED BUT HERE YOU ALL ARE:

Algeria, Austria, Australia, Bangladesh, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, China, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Ghana, India, Indonesia, Ireland,  Italy, Israel, Jamaica, Japan, Kuwait, Malaysia, Mexico, Morocco, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Pakistan, Puerto Rico, Qutar, Romania, Russia, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, Sweden, Thailand, U.K., USA.

Yours Globely

Celia.

RONALD WRECKS THE G SPOT

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I returned from a very lovely AFTERNOON TEA with friends to discover Ronald had VACUUMED and WASHED all the floors.

What a WONDERFUL husband I hear you all SHOUT and you are correct and I thanked him accordingly.

Then with a HANGDOG faced he FESSED UP and showed me this:


Apparently  our new GTECH VACUUM CLEANER is as the ADVERT says not only lightweight and cordless but POWERFUL!

POWERFUL enough to SUCK UP, CHEW AND SPIT OUT a sleeve of the baby jacket I had just finished KNITTING for a nephews impending baby.

I suppose I should be thankful the GTECH survived and it was just one sleeve!

Out come the knitting needles again.

Ronald has had a bit of making up to do.

Yours Knittingly

Celia 

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