This morning we awoke to 80 miles per hour winds and no I am not talking about Ronald, following on from his BUBBLE AND SQUEAK supper..

Talking of Ronald, I am a little concerned, he has taken to mutterings. I am almost positive I heard him mutter this morning “300 CUBITS BY 50 BY 30”. We arrived back from grocery shopping yesterday, to a message on the answer phone announcing that a LARGE QUANTITY OF WOOD is to be delivered.

Just notified on BBC1 hurricane on LUNDY ISLAND, the EXPECTED WIND-SPEEDS have risen to between 80 and 100 MILES AN HOUR. the ELECTRICITY is now flickering, so is bound to go off soon. At least that will save some money, as I have just discovered that our previous electricity supplier has been SWAPPING OUR LOW NIGHT-RATE FOR THE HIGH DAY-RATE. no wonder our bills had been so expensive.

How long do you think it will take me to sort that our with the ELECTRICITY SUPPLIER?

Must go Ronald is muttering about CUBIT UPWARDS and has headed outside with a WOOD-SAW!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, think of us here in the WEST COUNTRY, which appears to be sinking under OCEANS OF WATER and WHIPPED UP BY HURRICANE WINDS.

Say a little PRAYER to ST MEDARD Patron Saint Against Bad Weather, who was saved as a child as he sheltered under a HOVERING EAGLE.

Let’s hope there is a HOVERING EAGLE over the BRITISH ISLES.

Yours Nervously



Oh no it isn’t! – Oh yes it is! – PANTS! That unfortunately was the pantomime rehearsal last night. I know that sounds harsh but it is the truth. Quite a few of the cast had been to a wedding the night before so they were tired.

Some of the young people stood on stage as if they were waiting to go in to see the dentist and wouldn’t smile in case he WHIPPED OUT their teeth.

I reminded them that we had just over two weeks to go before the first performance. Hopefully everyone will be BRIGHT-EYED AND BUSHY-TAILED for Tuesday’s nights rehearsal.

My dear ladies and occasional gentlemen, some of you will remember my problems with my ELECTRICITY provider. I have changed to a new provider and it seems that the previous company had mixed up my day and night rate, so we have been charged the wrong amount at a higher rate. I changed over in November and the two companies are still in negotiations.

I have still to be contacted by my previous provider even though they acknowledged my complaint last June 2013. It has taken what seems like hours on the telephone to try and sort out. CUSTOMER SERVICE!

We seem to be using enough ELECTRICITY to light up BUCKINGHAM PALACE!

I am not sure what the outcome will be but I can probably GUARANTEE we will still be the losers

Yours Statically


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