ATLAS ASSES

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman back to Morrocco with ATLAS ASSES.

A short walk before lunch,  suggested our host in the ATLAS MOUNTAINS, just down to the village and a little stroll in the splendor of the snow-topped mountains.

Several of us set off down the steep hill and met this handsome chap as we entered the village.

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The local ladies sat in the shade tried to control their chuckles at the STUPID TOURISTS walking past, out in the mid-day sun.

After 30 minutes of navigating, GULLIES, traversing STREAMS climbing over BOULDERS our friendly guide told us that the way ahead was blocked with a river of water. The farmers are allowed to irrigate their land with the snow melted water according to a time-table! Either the FARMER or the GUIDE had erred!

Back we climbed the way we had climbed down and attempted another route. 20 minutes later this to was blocked by water. A mixed group of MIDDLE-AGED  people clinging to the side of the mountain set the dear boy guide panicking a little and he quickly suggested we climb up a steep bank, and through some barbed wire in order to avoid it.

My dear friend Veronica under the illusion she is like a YOUNG GAZELLE scrambled up behind a fellow climber and there was a pivotal moment when half of her was through the hole but the rest of her (dare ASS ay  the heavier end) wasn’t!

With temperatures of 29c I decided to join the men and brave the water, oh what fun we had!

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After a further 20 minutes and another blocked track, I decided I’d had enough and would make my own way back.

When Veronica arrived sometime after me, she resembled an EXTREMELY CROSS GIANT TOMATO!

XXXXXXX! XXXXXXXXXXX! XX! XXXXXXX! XXXXX!

I’m afraid I’ve had to censor what she said.

Yours Tiredly

Celia

WHIFF OF SUSPICIOUS APPLES & BLADDERS!

WHIFF OF SUSPICIOUS APPLES & BLADDERS!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, at the AIRPORT near the front of the queue we were soon standing in front of SECURITY. He was not in a hurry, taking ages checking me, my passport at his screen but that was nothing compared to how long he took with Veronica! She gets so flustered when encountering a man in UNIFORM, she has the WHIFF OF SUSPICION about her.

We were the last 2 passengers. There was relief on our taxi driver’s face then a beaming smile as he realised he hadn’t lost us. In the posh TAXI we shot out into the traffic with the driver pointing out with pride the 1000 year old MOSQUE in the dark.

Once in the MEDINA wiggling our way through people, animals and bikes, we came to a stop when the car could squeeze through no further.We alighted and the driver took our cases and strode off into the hustle and bustle with us trying to keep up with him. Through alleys, twisting and turning not having a clue where we were or where we were going.

“There’s a lot of trust going on here but a man who provides polished APPLES in NAPKINS in the back of his taxi must be OK mustn’t he?” I said to Veronica over the head of a DONKEY as we trotted along trying to keep up with our luggage.

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“Remember SNOW WHITE and the POISONED APPLE!” Says Veronica.

Which gave us slightly HYSTERICAL giggles, which had an unfortunate effect on Veronica’s BLADDER.

Let’s hope we have time to change before the party!

Yours Mazedly

Celia