WOMAN NEARLY STRANGLED IN FREAK FOREST FALL

Dear ladies and occasional gentleman, this was NEARLY the HEADLINE in our local paper after I had a SPECTACULAR FALL in the FOREST.


Ronald and I were on our way back through the FOREST with our two HAIRY little DOGS

When I suddenly found myself FLYING through the air and FACE-PLANTING down on the FOREST floor.

A SOFT landing you might think and yes it was except my KNEES landed on a HANDY THICK BRANCH that was laying across the pathway.

Ronald had a slight PANIC and SLID his arm UNDER my NECK and tried to LIFT me up half STRANGLING ME  in the process.

I DID NOT WANT TO MOVE! 

I wanted to lay there and assess the  DAMAGE,  which was difficult when someone is trying to HOICK you up by your NECK!

LEAVE ME! JUST LEAVE ME A MINUTE! I was trying to shout but it was only when hirsute Roley intervened did Ronald RELEASE my NECK.

That was THREE WEEKS AGO and my KNEES are still BLACK,  BLUE, PURPLE.

FUNNILY enough RONALD has a few BLACK and BLUE BRUISES too.

Yours Sorely

Celia

WRITING OR SOCK KNITTING?

WRITING OR SOCK KNITTING yes my dear ladies and occasional gentleman I’m on the horns of a dilemma, whether to WRITE or whether to KNIT SOCKS!

My dear little ghostly writer is pushing me for my next adventure but these ADORABLE SOCKS are SIREN SINGING……………KNIT ME! KNIT ME! KNIT ME!

Oh well, head down for an hour and then let me at those SOCK NEEDLES and GORGEOUS SEASCAPE YARN.

Yours Busily

Celia

 MOOOOOO! MOOOOOO! ACROPHOBIA (Translated) HELP! HELP! ACROPHOBIA

MOOOOOO! MOOOOOO! ACROPHOBIA. (Translated) HELP! HELP! ACROPHOBIA. My dear ladies and occasional gentleman this was the cry we heard (in BOVINE language) from the field next to our garden.


This chap had decided to CLIMB up on top of the hedge. Once up there he decided he didn’t like it and wanted to come down. 

So typical of a man, it takes all that effort to get up and only minutes to come down.


His FRIENDS tried to encourage him down but after managing to turn around he had frozen.

But don’t worry folks, like DOCTOR DOOLITTLE I can talk to the animals. 


Using my SPECIAL COW TALK (Ronald often remarks on my similarity) I was able to COAX the poor animal down.

Yours Bullocky

Celia

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, today I had to speak to one of our HIGH STREET BANKS on the telephone. 

You will not be surprised to know that my call went from DEVON in England halfway around the world to NEW DELHI in India.

And it didn’t cost me a penny. It’s rare to be able to chat on the telephone across CONTINENTS in the middle of the day and all for free.

I spoke to a charming young lady who obviously had been trained by DAME JUDY DENCH when she was living in the MOST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL to be friendly and not to be afraid to go ‘OFF PISTE’ with the script.

After we had dealt with the boring bits we had a lovely little chat and I can say it was a very pleasant experience.

I do believe the dear young LADY paid my little ‘BLISS’* a visit yesterday, how kind. 
I do hope she visits again, it gives one a glimpse into an EXOTIC world so very different from my own.

My dear new INDIAN friend here are some pictures of beautiful Devon for you


Yours Exoticly
Celia

* I am sure you will agree my dear ladies and occasional gentleman that ‘BLOG’ is a rather vulgar sounding word, so I call mine a ‘BLISS’ so much lovelier don’t you think?

CUPCAKES, SCONES AND PRETEND BAKING HANDS

CUPCAKES, SCONES AND PRETEND BAKING HANDS


My dear ladies and occasional gentleman as you can see I have been baking for a Parish Cream Tea. The scones are hiding in the tin foil.

No Ronald! Just because you strategically placed your hands in the photograph the lovely ladies and occasional gentleman won’t be fooled into thinking you baked them!

Yours Cakily

Celia

FEATHERLITE TWITTERS IN THE WOMENS INSTITUTE

FEATHERLITE TWITTERS IN THE WOMENS INSTITUTE.  image

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman WHAT LARKS! This evening I attended  a local WOMENS INSTITUTE quiz.  I can hear you thinking “what a boring evening” but NO  you would be wrong.

There are hidden depths to these ladies, they may live in DEEPEST DARKEST DEVON but they know how to ‘KICK OVER THE TRACES’ and enjoy themselves.

Our team consisted of five ladies and one occasional gentleman,  who at one stage got a little stern with me, which I will be honest created a little FRISSON between us but before you could say PRE-RAPHAELITES his wife established ownership by announcing they were off on a FERRY to FRANCE in the morning.

But I digress, the highlight of the evening was, when we were given a sheet of LOGOS to name and this picture was one of them.

imageThe ASHREIGNEY WOMENS INSTITUTE decided it was

DUREX FEATHERLITE CONDOMS.

Now we know what those ladies get up to and I don’t think it has anything to do with ‘JAM & JERUSALEM’!

Yours Shockingly

Celia

‘WICKED’ PARK & RIDE in EXTREMELY TIGHT TROUSERS!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, last Saturday I journeyed to PLYMOUTH with my dear friend Gloria where we took advantage of the PARK AND RIDE.

After a little light shopping when I purchased a MONKEY, some STRAWBERRY INFUSED  VINEGAR, a COWBOY HAT and a pair of GOOGLE EYES; followed by a PAN ASIAN lunch and then,  the highlight of the day.

The WEST END show ‘WICKED’ at THE THEATRE ROYAL PLYMOUTH (photos courtesy of)

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It was MAGICAL with FUNNY dialogue, a THRILLING SET and SPECIAL EFFECTS. The music is so good you think you know the songs and the exquisite costumes were STUNNING.

ASHLEIGH GRAY who plays ELPHABA has the most WONDERFUL voice and gave a powerful performance. EMILY TIERNEY who plays GLINDA has fantastic COMIC TIMING  and together they were a joy. Every single PERFORMER was a pleasure to watch, the singing, the dancing and the orchestra were brilliant.

If you have the chance to see this SHOW go, it will lift your spirits.

Unlike the GRUMPY BUS DRIVER who so RILED Gloria, she nearly gave him the DEVON version of the GLASGOW KISS!

#NOTE for those of you with a MUCKY MIND like Ronald:  A Park & Ride is where you park your car on the outside of a city and a bus takes you in to the city centre.

Although I wouldn’t have minded  a P & R with the HANDSOME young male lead FIYERO played by  SAMUEL EDWARDS in EXTREMELY TIGHT TROUSERS!

Yours Blushingly

Celia

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PILGRIMS!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PILGRIMS!
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My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I am sure you will join with me in CELEBRATING with OUR COLONIAL COUSINS the 400th ANNIVERSARY of THE MAYFLOWER leaving PLYMOUTH DEVON carrying the PILGRIM FATHERS and making that historic journey to what they called PLYMOUTH MASSACHUSETTS.
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I am lighting this CANDLE as to quote GOVERNOR WILLIAM BRADFORD in his book Of Plimoth Plantation which states, “As one small candle may light a thousand, so the light here kindled has shown unto many,” and will inspire a sense of unity among all those participating.

Yours Illuminatedly

Celia

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