MELLOW LELLO, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman is just the right phrase.

Livraria Lello is the correct name for this wonderful bookshop.

If you are ever in PORTO,  do take the time for a visit, it is well worth it.

However my dears,  I would advise that you visit before partaking of any ALCOHOLIC BEVERIDGES.

The surreal staircases (think Harry Potter) are not to be tackled after imbibing LIQUID REFRESHMENTS.

I managed to ascend the first flight but on reaching that first SUMMIT. and having to decide to either turn left or right for the next flight, (I’m sure those stairs were moving) I FROZE.

Ronald who had already reached the top luckily peered over the balcony and spotted me on HANDS and KNEES, completely BLOCKING the stairs with a waiting group of camera snapping JAPANESE tourists behind me.

The only way was up and with Ronald’s support and eyes closed I made it.

I don’t think I can put all the blame on the PORT, I am just not very good with heights.

Yours Vertigoly


p.s. Thank you to all my dear ladies and occasional gentleman who have purchased my new book.



My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, please look away if this picture offends you but this is a pair of rather lovely LA PERLA silk FRENCH KNICKERS and I am sure we can all enjoy the beautiful design and fine quality.

I mention them here because an incident occurred when one of my pantomime cast POPPED IN to show me her costume which she then POPPED OUT of!

If flipping  the DRESS top up and down revealing her BLACK BRASSIERE wasn’t enough she then proceeded to bend over and flash her FRENCH KNICKERS asking if this was OK.

Poor Ronald hadn’t been expecting this, he had just sat down with a cup of COFFEE and a GINGER NUT to watch the news.

He hasn’t been the same since and he has woken me up a few times in the night muttering FRENCH KNICKERS.