My dear ladies and occasional gentleman please heed this WARNING for your own SAFETY. I have been suffering for the last two weeks with CATARRHH, I now know how the VIKINGS felt with their STEEL HELMETS because I am wearing one.

Having searched online for a remedy I found one that I tried this morning. The recommendation was to put some DECONGESTANT VAPOUR RUB on the floor of the shower and the hot water would send the fumes nose-ward, clearing ones head. Great idea, being clever I thought it would be easier to smear a lump on my foot and then when I was in the shower I spread it over the floor. Mmm I could smell it already.

This is when it all went WRONG! You could have used my shower floor to host the ICE-DANCING CHAMPIONSHIPS. Barely managing to stay on my feet I managed by doing the splits to WEDGE each foot painfully against the two sides and clinging on to the shower itself keep upright. From this PERILOUS position My next bad idea was to wash my hair thinking that the foam would wash the vapour rub away forgetting that I still had a wedge of the stuff on the one hand I could use. It certainly dissolved, running down my face and into my eyes, IT STUNG!

Trying to shave my legs when they were stretched as far as they could without SPLITTING MY DIFFERENCE was hit and miss. I’d had enough but how to get out? If I let go of the shower workings I’d slip faster than a JELLIED EEL! The only thing for it was to crawl out on hands and knees.

This was NOT a relaxing shower and I had to clean the stuff off the floor afterwards.

So please don’t try this REMEDY but if any of you have a SAFE REMEDY FOR CATARRHH please share it with me.

Yours Bunged-up-edly


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