BIRDS OR ELVES?

BIRDS OR ELVES? My dear ladies and occasional gentleman THANK YOU for your kind interest in my entries for our ANNUAL VILLAGE AUTUMN SHOW.

In the FAIR TRADE ZINC FRAME is my ART TEXTILE entry of free-style hand stitching.

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I am on the HORNS of (a dilemma).

Shall I enter the BIRD BUNTING or THE ELVES & SANTA HAT BUNTING? (The elves hats have red Swiss embroidery and bells on)

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Shall I enter the SHAWL or the FURRY SCARF?

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Which of the HEIRLOOM CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS shall I enter?

imageThese are freestyle hand stitched using aged lace and fabrics.

Thank you for the lovely comments about the POM-POM HAT, I am afraid Ronald has rather taken a fancy to it!

imageMy dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I appreciate what busy lives you may have but if you can spare a few moments to give me the benefit of your advise, I would really appreciate it.

Yours Expectantly

Celia

THAT BURNING RING OF FIRE

THAT BURNING RING OF FIRE to quote JOHNNY CASH.

imageMy dear ladies and occasional gentleman it is our ANNUAL AUTUMN SHOW on Saturday and here I am imagemaking  a POM-POM for a hat to be entered into class 74.

I have made the POM-POM the old fashioned way with two pieces of cardboard cut into a ring donut shape. Wind the yarn round and round until it is covered and plump, then cut around between the two pieces, tie a piece of wool tightly between cardboard rings until secure, then slide off the cardboard and VOILA  a POM-POM.

This is the finished hat.

Ronald is not amused at the millions of orange fibers scattered over the sitting room as if I had fired the POM-POM out of a SHOTGUN!

Yours Fiberly

Celia

RONALD GETS DOWN AND DIRTY & DISPLAYS HIS GENIUS

RONALD GETS DOWN AND DIRTY & DISPLAYS HIS GENIUS.
Wanting to plant some CABBAGES and CAULIFLOWERS we went to look at some CLOCHES to protect them from the voracious SLUGS and SNAILS.

They are EXPENSIVE almost equalling the cost of a small PRIVATE JET!

Ronald takes control and we head to a CHEAP and CHEERFUL value shop, where whilst I am having a RUMMAGE amongst RIBBONS, TRIMS and CRAFT paraphernalia he FERRETS around trying to discover an alternative.

We check out three £1.00 POP-OUT MESH LAUNDRY BAGS and some GREEN PLASTIC GARDEN PEGS. As we head for the car, it goes through my mind that Ronald may have been watching RE-RUNS of 1970’s BLUE PETER.

Here is the result over the CAULIFLOWERS. GENIUS!
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Now we know it works, we will return for some to cover the CABBAGES.

Yours Greenfingerdly

Celia

THE FASTEST ERECTION IS POETRY IN MOTION

THE FASTEST ERECTION IS POETRY IN MOTION, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.My friends and I are organising a VINTAGE style FETE and CRAFT FAYRE. The big EVENT is tomorrow!

The lovely gentlemen from THE GREAT TORRINGTON CAVELIERS arrived last evening and like POETRY IN MOTION performed the FASTEST ERECTION it has been my honour to witness.
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Here they are in ACTION.

Yours Fetely

Celia

CHEEKY YOUNG MEN WITH HAIR!

CHEEKY YOUNG MEN WITH HAIR!
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Yesterday my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, myself and Veronica were on our way back from a busy ‘HOGWASH’ day CRAFT FAYRE, when we INADVERTANTLY stopped at the PUB. It seemed churlish not to enter and partake of a little RESTORATIVE WINE, so we did.

The POLITE young man with the HAIR behind the bar (I think he may have been a reject from OME DIRECTION) requested our drinks. Veronica in as FAST AS A FERRET asked for a DRY WHITE WINE SPRITZER, this was duly served to her. Turning to me he asked “and what would you like?”
“A glass of SAUVIGNON BLANC” I replied.
“Would you like the bottle with a straw in?” He asked.
Quite frankly I was shocked, what is a lady to think? Did I look like some kind of ‘ALCY?” Why me and not Veronica?
“How very dare you, what are you implying?” I asked.
He just laughed and said “I guess that’s just a medium then.

I think it may be all that HAIR, it ADDLES the brain, it’s not all that good for a young man even if it is only on the very top of the head. After all remember the HIPPIES?

Yours Affrontedly

Celia.

BRIAN GETS HIS SAUSAGE OUT!

BRIAN GETS HIS SAUSAGE OUT!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, it was all quiet and not a lot happening when Veronica and I arrived at the CRAFTS AND FARMERS MARKET this morning. Although we were very pleased to see a rather JOLLY mobile HABERDASHERY van parked outside.

We entered and were strolling up the EAST aisle when SIMULTANEOUSLY a CRACKLE of electricity filled the air as a RUMOUR ROLLED around the hall that Brian was getting his SAUSAGE OUT. All the other ladies PERKED up and made a BEELINE for the WEST aisle.

Now I know I’m her FRIEND but all I’m saying is I wouldn’t get between Veronica and a SAUSAGE!. Elbows flying she had pushed her way to the front of the queue and had FLUNG several LARGE CHUNKS of SAUSAGE, of different VARIETIES, followed by a piece of VINTAGE CHEDDAR down her THROAT before Brian and the rest of the ladies could say BLACK CRACKED PEPPER.

Too much meat made her a little fiery and she proceeded to HARANGUE the BREAD man because he had put PRUNES in his MULTI-SEEDED LOAF!

Yours Sausagedly

Celia

BUM-BOLSTER, FRINGING, CHORIZO & BUTTER BEAN SOUP

Bum-Cushion
Bum-Cushion
Dames Dress back
Dames Dress back
Dames Dress front
Dames Dress front
BUM-BOLSTER, FRINGING, CHORIZO & BUTTER BEAN SOUP

Today I decided I would finish the DAMES DRESS, it has taken me about six hours of hand sewing, I hope you think the finished result was worth it.

Ronald has had to help sew the separate BUM-BOLSTER as I just could not push the needle through. At least it’s a new skill he has learnt and he’ll be able to sew his trousers up in a crisis.

Don’t you just love a bit of FRINGING, it’s not just for COWBOYS you know.

CHORIZO AND BUTTER BEAN SOUP for lunch, with buttered toast on the side.

After walking little Roley with his HOODED-PARKER on to protect his little ears as he still has an EAR INFECTION. It was blowing a gale as we dashed between HAIL-STONES and driving rain, our thoughts turned towards warmer climes and HOLIDAY DESTINATIONS.

I’ve just dragged myself and three large pieces of white material out from under the bed after a mistaken purchase of an extra large ladies blouse with rather pretty buttons and full sleeves that I thought would fit “mellors” in the panto. He of ‘lady Chatterly’s Lover fame, loosely based of course, failed to fit CHUNKY actor it was meant to. Can I make a ROMANTIC ‘MR DARCY’ type blouse/shirt?WATCH THIS SPACE.

LENTIL & LEEK LADYLIKE SOUP

imageLENTIL & LEEK LADYLIKE SOUP

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman as I did not receive any LADYLIKE RECIPES from you, I can only assume that you do not possess any.

I met Gwendoline at our CRAFT AFTERNOON yesterday and indeed she confessed to not possessing any culinary skills whatsoever!

However she did produce from the depths of her capacious bag an item that can only be described as QUISQUILIOUS. I cannot wait to see the finished article next month.

Linney not unsurprisingly was KNITTING ANOTHER CUSHION! Many more and there won’t be room for the cat!

I have concocted my own little RECIPE for tomorrow’s luncheon with Veronica, here it is if you wish to make it for yourselves.

Two handfuls of red lentils, one & a half leeks, one large onion, three cloves of garlic, half of a small green de-seeded chilli, one tin of chopped tomatoes, paprika, vegetable stock, salt & pepper.
Boil the lentils 25 mins whilst gently sautéing leeks & onions. Add lentils and the rest of the ingredients to the pan and simmer. Serve with your own choice of bread or rolls.

I will let you know Veronica’s verdict.

Yours Soupily

Celia

COUNTRY CREAM FINISHES ME OFF

Interior painted
Ronald Finishes Me Off With Country Cream

What a hero Ronald is, he has erected my summerhouse whilst I painted most of the outside in ‘Pale Sage’,  Ronald finished it off and has painted my inside with country cream . Although we are in dispute.  I want some of my externals  picked out in country cream and Ronald so far is passively resisting. I have some ideas for my inside which includes some hand-painting, photos to follow.

Disaster,  the wool shop had run out of the wool I needed to complete Little Nanook’s blanket.  They may order some more but cannot promise. This may see me unpicking the border I have already sewn on and buying new wool, sigh.

2013.06.20 gemini & light blue teddies

Here are two new knitted bears, I still have to embroider noses and will now start on their clothes. Their personalities evolve as I am knitting them and every one is completely unique just like me

Yours Creamily

Celia

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