THE CURIOUS CURIOSITY

THE CURIOUS CURIOSITY my dear ladies and occasional gentleman is the first book in the series about my dear village St Urith With Well.

ON SALE at 99p from AMAZON, EBOOKS or PAPERBACKS.

 Abridged Excerpt from ‘The Curious Curiosity’:

“This is the most excitement since Mr Mc Loosely was a guest at our WI.”

“Goodness really? What on earth was his talk about?” Asked Claire.

“He gave us a talk about surviving in the wild. It was all a bit boring until he was telling us how to forage for food, when Marjorie Phipps who quite frankly Claire could survive on her own excess body fat for at least three months….”

“That’s a bit harsh Aunty Pat.”

“But true Claire. Anyway on the pretext of going to the toilet she nose-dived into the tuna vol-au-vents and cut rounds. Irene Ingles, madam chairperson was furious and started to get up to go and stop her. The other ladies who hadn’t really been listening to Mr Mc Loosely, started to rise up out of their seats, thinking the talk was over and not wanting to miss the food.

Mr Mc Loosely realised he was losing his audience, picked up two sticks and loudly banged them together shouting ‘LET’S MAKE FIRE!’

The shout woke Wendy who was asleep in the front row,  she launched her bottle of elderflower water all over Mr Mc Loosely whose linen trousers went completely transparent. This stopped the stampede to the buffet in its tracks as we all realised Mr Mc Loosely went commando. It was the most exciting talk we’ve ever had at the WI.  Throw your blue light on the roof love and I’ll put me foot down.”

“I haven’t got a blue light Aunty Pat.”

“Starsky and Hutch always had a blue light! The Sweeney always had a blue light! You’re the police you must have a blue light !”

I would love you to read all about me and my friends. Go on treat yourself to a scrummy, yummy book.

Yours Readingly

Celia

Continue reading “THE CURIOUS CURIOSITY”

THE FLIP SIDE

THE FLIP SIDE my dear ladies and occasional gentleman is this.

When your DELIGHTFUL granddaughter smooths your hair away keeping her little hands holding your face and says,

“YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY WITH YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT GRANNY.”

The FLIP SIDE – ten minutes later,

“GRANNY WHY HAVE YOU GOT TWO CHINS?”

Here she is COMMUNING with the COWS, temporary ladder in place to prevent her JOINING them.

 MOOOOOO! MOOOOOO! ACROPHOBIA (Translated) HELP! HELP! ACROPHOBIA

MOOOOOO! MOOOOOO! ACROPHOBIA. (Translated) HELP! HELP! ACROPHOBIA. My dear ladies and occasional gentleman this was the cry we heard (in BOVINE language) from the field next to our garden.


This chap had decided to CLIMB up on top of the hedge. Once up there he decided he didn’t like it and wanted to come down. 

So typical of a man, it takes all that effort to get up and only minutes to come down.


His FRIENDS tried to encourage him down but after managing to turn around he had frozen.

But don’t worry folks, like DOCTOR DOOLITTLE I can talk to the animals. 


Using my SPECIAL COW TALK (Ronald often remarks on my similarity) I was able to COAX the poor animal down.

Yours Bullocky

Celia

DO DOGS DO PERSPECTIVE?

DO DOGS DO PERSPECTIVE?
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Hirsute Roley having a post breakfast cuddle on my lap, started barking at a far field where the cows were racing from one side of the field to the other.

Ronald remarked “does he know they’re cows or do they look like dogs to him from this distance?

After reading several articles it appears he may well be seeing them as dogs! Roley along with most dogs sees more movement than size.

If only this applied to humans my dear ladies and occasional gentleman. If we were feeling a little plump, we could just keep moving slightly and everyone would only see the movement and not our expanding waistline.

Men when they wanted to appear bigger would just keep still.

Yours Movingly

Celia

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