My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, as you may well have noticed I bypassed the ‘Season’s Greetings’ bit, I am sure that you had enough reading to do with all those Christmas cards, messages yada, yada, yada, without me adding to the burden.
But here I am wishing you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous NEW YEAR.
Here is the ADORABLE new addition to our family POLLY. She was rescued from a PUPPY FARM by the wonderful charity MANY TEARS RESCUE www.manytearsrescue.org/
As you can see Hirsute Roley is being an absolute STAR as they get to know one another.
If you are thinking of taking a dog into your family PLEASE DO consider ADOPTING a rescue dog.
We saved THREE dogs by adopting Polly. Polly herself, her foster parents were able to take another dog out of kennels for Christmas and the charity was able to RESCUE another dog.
Polly is an ABSOLUTE POPPET, very quiet (except when I am in the bathroom and she has taken to sitting outside giving little barks) follows me around everywhere and is happiest either on my lap or next to me (or Ronald in a pinch).
We had not planned on sharing the MARITAL BED with two dogs but Hey Ho! Saves on HOT WATER BOTTLES.
QUIRILI-ANUS! My dear ladies and occasional gentleman.
It was our parish CAROL SERVICE, 9 lessons and carols in our beautiful village church last Sunday.
I was sitting in a pew with PCSO Claire and her sister. Lovely young ladies. I had noticed something wasn’t quite right but couldn’t put my finger on it until halfway through the THIRD CAROL, when I realised they were singing a completely different CAROL.
They had been given LAST YEARS order of service.
This year I was reading lesson 6, which had in it the unfortunate name of QUIRINIUS.
I said to them ” I have a tricky name in my reading, QUIRILI-ANUS.” Needless to say once the SPOONERISM had left my lips and hit their ears they were a bundle of giggling girlies.
Imagine my perturbation as I stood in the pulpit and looked out at the congregation.
A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
A robin can mean many things, a loved one passed is saying hello, a bringer of good luck, a bringer of new beginnings, hope, or one of natures beautiful bounties that make us all smile..
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, may I wish you seasons greetings and send you all warm and scrumptious love and hugs from the Ladygarden residence.
For those of you who may be alone and for those who find Christmas a difficult time, just remember I will be thinking of you all in our special ‘bliss’ family. (blog is such a vulgar word)
Remember it is only two days out of the year, don’t stress, relax it will pass, hopefully not like a kidney stone.
We must look forward to a new year with hope and perhaps with a resolution to be kinder to each other. We all have our down days how much better would it make us feel if someone said something kind or did a kind deed.
Let’s try to say something nice to at least one person everyday, or give a helping hand with a task.
I am going to say something nice to Ronald in a minute, I’m going to thank him for cleaning the cooker. That’s a kind deed. What a little treasure he is.
See you all next year.
SARTORIAL ELEGANCE OR PRACTICALITY? My dear ladies and occasional gentleman how MILD it is. Here we are on the 16th of December and our temperatures are in double figures, the summer FLOWERS are still BLOOMING, the BULBS are coming up and Ronald is still wearing pale LINEN trousers and CANVAS shoes.
But really are they practical attire or footwear for walking hirsute Roley? After all we have received a goodly amount of rain.
As you can see I have chosen traditional PROTECTION as my mother drummed into me “never rely on a man for PROTECTION!”
How impressive Ronald is striding along SARTORIALY ELEGANT through MUD and S..T.
We even saw our first BABY LAMB, how exciting.
On our return Hirsute Roley, slipped his ELF SLIPPERS on and cuddled up.
CHAFFENED CHOCOLATE DERRIÈRE!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, much as it pains me to discuss such an intimate and distasteful matter, I feel compelled to in order to prevent you suffering the same distress I experienced last night.
Here is the CULPRIT!
This may just look like innocent REINDEER decorated toilet paper BUT if you look closely you will see that the decoration colour is BROWN!
And it SMELLS LIKE CHOCOLATE!
10 minutes of scrubbing and a CHAFFENED DERRIÈRE last night, before I realised it WASN’T ME!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, FELICITATIONS at this ADVENT season. What a busy time it has been, hence my absence.
Sparks have been flying from my KNITTING and SEWING needles (Ronald has taken to wearing SAFETY GLASSES) as I race to complete festive gifts.
Who doesn’t need ELF BUNTING?
Last Friday evening I accompanied my dear friend Veronica to a CHRISTMAS FAIR where she displayed her wonderful HOMEMADE SOAPS and other lovely SMELLIES. Veronica had gone off foraging for MULLED CIDER to keep off the chill and I was MANNING the stall in my own ladylike way, enjoying the music, happy families, decorations and CHRISTMAS atmosphere, WHEN! A man SIDLED up to the stall and picked up one of Veronica’s cards offering PARTIES.
He LEERED at me muttering “mmmmm you do parties do you? I think I’d like you to do me a party”
I just did that silly little giggle that one does when one is nervous, luckily Veronica returned knocking the hopeful PARTY-GOER clear out of the way with her LARGE-BOTTOM glasses of MULLED CIDER!
P.S. Ronald has just returned from Lidls where he was SEDUCED by this CRISTMAS REINDEER PACK OF SCENTED TOILET ROLLS with SNOWFLAKES, REINDEERS AND CHRISTMAS TREES on them. WORRYING!
WHAT IS THIS? My dear ladies and occasional gentleman today has been a glorious sunny 1st day of DECEMBER so my dear friend Gloria and I went for a walk taking little hirsute Roley with us.
It was very MILD and QUIET walking the lanes until I came upon this ALIEN CREATURE!
WHAT IS IT? If any of my dear ladies and occasional gentleman know please tell me.
I was EXCEEDINGLY BRAVE taking this photograph as I am distinctly ARACHNOPHOBIC!
This was not a good start to the FESTIVE SEASON, a ROBIN, REINDEER OR (W)RAPPING PAPER would have been more suitable.