BRIAN GETS HIS SAUSAGE OUT!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, it was all quiet and not a lot happening when Veronica and I arrived at the CRAFTS AND FARMERS MARKET this morning. Although we were very pleased to see a rather JOLLY mobile HABERDASHERY van parked outside.
We entered and were strolling up the EAST aisle when SIMULTANEOUSLY a CRACKLE of electricity filled the air as a RUMOUR ROLLED around the hall that Brian was getting his SAUSAGE OUT. All the other ladies PERKED up and made a BEELINE for the WEST aisle.
Now I know I’m her FRIEND but all I’m saying is I wouldn’t get between Veronica and a SAUSAGE!. Elbows flying she had pushed her way to the front of the queue and had FLUNG several LARGE CHUNKS of SAUSAGE, of different VARIETIES, followed by a piece of VINTAGE CHEDDAR down her THROAT before Brian and the rest of the ladies could say BLACK CRACKED PEPPER.
Too much meat made her a little fiery and she proceeded to HARANGUE the BREAD man because he had put PRUNES in his MULTI-SEEDED LOAF!
QUIZZES & INVISIBLE BRIDGES
Last night I attended the local WI QUIZ NIGHT in the village hall. Unfortunately as it was a last minute decision to go we struggled to form a team of six. Gloria and I went along and thought perhaps there may be some stragglers that we could connect with. When we arrived the hall was bursting at the seams with LOVELY LADIES AND ONE OR TWO OCCASIONAL GENTLEMAN.
We paid our £4.50 and looked around for any STRAY LADIES but they were all firmly in their LADY teams. We made our way up onto the stage to a spare table and sat like two NORA NO-MATES until an extremely pleasant lady who had just moved to the area and came along to meet some new people, joined us. What fun we had as we shared our FRENCH BREAD and SELECTION OF CHEESES meant for SIX people along with a pleasant little MERLOT.
There was a VIKING invader who tried to plunder our stash of bread but we soon repelled him with a swift stab of the cheese fork! He still managed to snaffle two pieces, BLAST HIM!
You will be amazed to know that we didn’t win but it is hardly surprising when all the other teams had SIX players. We thought that they should double our score as we were only THREE players.
Our worst round was identifying BRIDGES, yes I repeat BRIDGES! We had to identify pictures of BRIDGES and picture number 5 had an INVISIBLE BRIDGE, you couldn’t even see it.
Now I have no objection to bridges they are very useful and some are indeed rather beautiful but how many of you could identify twenty of them?
It was a fun evening well organised and with some lovely ladies.