POPPY SEEDS IN THE LADYGARDEN

POPPY SEEDS IN THE LADYGARDEN! You may well ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

A dear friend of mine asked me to make up the numbers in her soap workshop, ‘lovely’ you might think and you’d be right. I partnered a lovely young woman who chose lemon and lime essence, honey and POPPY SEEDS for our soap, here is a picture.


It smells DEVINE , looks a little ODD but heigh-ho it has all NATURAL  ingredients and I know what’s in it.

In the shower I was surrounded by relaxing aromas and I started to rub the soap over my skin which felt like being rubbed by a ROUGH LIZARD


Once dressed and going about my business I was aware of a NOT unpleasant SENSATION in my LADYGARDEN. A couple of hours later I felt something SLIDE and BUMP down my leg escaping out the BOTTOM of my trouser leg and bouncing off my shoe. It was POPPY SEEDS.

WARNING! ALWAYS ENSURE A THOROUGH RINSE OF THE LADYGARDEN WHEN USING IMPREGNATED SOAP!

Yours Soapily

Celia

PENCHANT FOR PORN

PENCHANT FOR PORN yes my dear ladies and occasional gentleman it is appears that I am gifted.

As some of you know I dabble with a little bit of writing.

imageAs you can see I still favour a QUILL.

My dear son suggested I write one as there seems to be such a demand. So I considered it and thought I’d have a go, in a ladylike way of course.

I sat in the LADYGARDEN with a NOTEBOOK, wrote 3,500 WORDS, had SEX three times and all before LUNCH!

I do believe I have a PENCHANT FOR PORN.

Yours Excitedly

Celia

DEATH OF A KINDLE

To get back to our KINDLE Group meeting, it was very exciting. We were critiquing, Dorothy Ledgers very own e-book. Quite honestly I didn’t know what to say. One doesn’t want to quash creative spirit but I’ve had more interest reading the instructions on a MARKS & SPENCER gourmet dinner. No wonder it only costs 44p. I think it was typed by a dyslexic school leaver. Not that I don’t have sympathy for dyslexics, I am short-sighted myself.

Of course LAYLA LAVERNE spouted on. She thinks she is a bony-fidy author since she had her letter published in ‘TAKE A BREAK’. With a name like hers I think she would be better suited to BURLESQUE!

Ronald is distraught, Roley jumped on his KINDLE and it is no more, it is deceased, gone to the other side.

Yours Sadly

Celia

KINDLE DEMISE