WHIFF OF SUSPICIOUS APPLES & BLADDERS!

WHIFF OF SUSPICIOUS APPLES & BLADDERS!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, at the AIRPORT near the front of the queue we were soon standing in front of SECURITY. He was not in a hurry, taking ages checking me, my passport at his screen but that was nothing compared to how long he took with Veronica! She gets so flustered when encountering a man in UNIFORM, she has the WHIFF OF SUSPICION about her.

We were the last 2 passengers. There was relief on our taxi driver’s face then a beaming smile as he realised he hadn’t lost us. In the posh TAXI we shot out into the traffic with the driver pointing out with pride the 1000 year old MOSQUE in the dark.

Once in the MEDINA wiggling our way through people, animals and bikes, we came to a stop when the car could squeeze through no further.We alighted and the driver took our cases and strode off into the hustle and bustle with us trying to keep up with him. Through alleys, twisting and turning not having a clue where we were or where we were going.

“There’s a lot of trust going on here but a man who provides polished APPLES in NAPKINS in the back of his taxi must be OK mustn’t he?” I said to Veronica over the head of a DONKEY as we trotted along trying to keep up with our luggage.

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“Remember SNOW WHITE and the POISONED APPLE!” Says Veronica.

Which gave us slightly HYSTERICAL giggles, which had an unfortunate effect on Veronica’s BLADDER.

Let’s hope we have time to change before the party!

Yours Mazedly

Celia

BRA SIZE, TOILETS & LANYARDS

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, in the AIRPORT on our way to MARRAKECH at the DUTY FREE, purchasing a litre and a half of GIN and Veronica a litre and a half of VODKA; the assistant asked for my PASSPORT at the same time scratching her chest.
“My new BRA is really ITCHY” she said “do you know what I can do about it?”

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“It’s new so it has something called ‘SIZE’ in it. Wash it and it will be fine.”

“I knew you’d know what to do, thanks”

Really!

Veronica is causing a kerfuffle at the other till as she can’t find her PASSPORT.
“I’ve lost it” she panics whilst rummaging in her bag.
Dour assistant says “So, you don’t want this now then?” Holding up the VODKA.
“Of course I want it” snaps an exasperated Veronica.
I had a further rummage and quickly find her passport.
Big sigh from dour assistant “So you want it now do you?”

Emptying two bottles of water in the TOILETS and filling them at the sink with GIN/VODKA & TONIC someone came in.  So engrossed it took a while before we realised we were being watched. Giggling like naughty schoolgirls whilst concentrating on our pouring we told her about our clever wheeze.

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Arms folded over her LANDYARD and AIRPORT uniform, (which we’d just noticed) she admonishes us saying IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA and we have been seen on the CCTV!

Stuffing the bottles in our bags we made our escape and headed for the departure gate.

Yours Flyingly

Celia

p.s. More of Marrakech later