AT LEAST ITS NOT PINK!

My dear ladies and occasional gentlemen I decided during lockdown, as I expect so many of us have, to CUT and COLOUR my hair.

I had no idea what I was doing
This is the first stage

Ronald said: I don’t like it. It doesn’t suit you. I liked the color it was.

He finished with: At least it isn’t PINK!

I am awaiting the delivery of the PINK dye.

Yours Pinkily

Celia

I LOVE YOU TESCOS

I LOVE YOU TESCOS, It’s true my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

We are in self- isolation. A lovely TESCO delivery man has just brought our groceries.

Only TWO days worth of food BUT:

5 BOTTLES OF WINE, a LITRE OF GIN, 8 CANS OF GUINNESS, 2 CHOCOLATE ORANGES, 2 MINT AEROS, 12 CANS OF DOG FOOD AND CAR SHAMPOO & WAX.

What else do we need for 12 WEEKS confinement?

Keep safe my darlings

Cheers,

Celia 🥰

p.s. Ronald is sulking coz there was no corned beef

THE UNFURLED MOTH

THE UNFURLED MOTH? I hear you ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

Well it is the latest BOOK about me and Ronald and all my dear friends in our village, not forgetting Hirsute Roley and Polly the rescue.

I don’t know how she does it but my dear friend Glenda has been scribbling away jotting down my adventures and here is the result..

Its so versatile as you can read the PAPERBACK, EBOOK or on KINDLE UNLIMITED.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B084G75HBJ

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084G75HBJ

Yours Bookily

Celia

p.s. Sneeze into your elbows and wash your hands properly, there are some nasty germs about.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY NEW YEAR my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.

Some say ‘A New Year, A New You ‘ but I’m quite happy with the old me.

So I won’t be joining a GYM, going on a DIET, or changing my HAIRSTYLE.

Anyway, it’s PANTOMIME time again and that usually BURNS off the XMAS CHOCOLATE FAT.

Yours Verymuchthesamely

Celia

p.s. My heart goes out to the Australian people and the other countries who have experienced natural disasters.

pps Here are a few of my Christmas hand knitted socks

Pppps. Good luck to those who are striving to change

APPARENTLY THIS IS AN…………….

IRON!!! Yes an IRON my dear ladies and occasional gentleman. I know!!! It looks more like …. Well I’m not sure really.

I have a lovely new FRIEND and he was very EXCITED about the purchase of this SPACE-AGE iron.

Speaking as a lady who hasn’t used one of these in over 20 years, I’m CONFUSED.

Yours Flatly

Celia

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, there have been a SERIES of UNFORTUNATE EVENTS.

We were looking after our son’s dogs when UNFORTUNATELY the puppy JUMPED Ronald’s BARRIER of ladders on top of the garden wall and LEAPT into the field with the BULLOCKS.

 I slipped on my WELLINGTONS whilst YELLING at Ronald (who was in bed drinking tea) and made my way in my DRESSING GOWN along the road and down the lane. 

I thought RONALD was following me to the FIELD-GATE but I heard a COMMOTION and Roley barking in distress.

Ronald had decided in his WISDOM to follow the dog and JUMP over into the field.

UNFORTUNATELY as he LEAPT he caught his leg on the BARBED WIRE fence, to steady himself he REACHED and GRABBED the LADDER  which then LANDED ON TOP of him.

FORTUNATELY the weight of it disengaged his leg from the BARBED WIRE.

UNFORTUNATELY he fell into a VAST pile of COW SHIT.

FORTUNATELY it was a soft landing.

UNFORTUNATELY he received numerous PUNCTURES, CUTS bruises and a possible BROKEN RIB.

FORTUNATELY the dog came to me and slid under the field-gate.

The MORAL of the story THINK before you LEAP.

Yours Fortunately

Celia

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