Dear ladies and occasional gentleman, this was NEARLY the HEADLINE in our local paper after I had a SPECTACULAR FALL in the FOREST.
When I suddenly found myself FLYING through the air and FACE-PLANTING down on the FOREST floor.
A SOFT landing you might think and yes it was except my KNEES landed on a HANDY THICK BRANCH that was laying across the pathway.
Ronald had a slight PANIC and SLID his arm UNDER my NECK and tried to LIFT me up half STRANGLING ME in the process.
I DID NOT WANT TO MOVE!
I wanted to lay there and assess the DAMAGE, which was difficult when someone is trying to HOICK you up by your NECK!
LEAVE ME! JUST LEAVE ME A MINUTE! I was trying to shout but it was only when hirsute Roley intervened did Ronald RELEASE my NECK.
That was THREE WEEKS AGO and my KNEES are still BLACK, BLUE, PURPLE.
FUNNILY enough RONALD has a few BLACK and BLUE BRUISES too.