My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I have spent four WONDERFUL days in OXFORDSHIRE with my son, daughter in law and GORGEOUS, FUNNY, CLEVER little GRANDDAUGHTER.
So imagine my horror on returning home, after a shower and a hairwash looking into my MAGNIFIED MIRROR and discovering I had grown a MUSTACHE and developed a BALD PATCH IN MY HAIR!
For one MAD MOMENT I considered GLUEING the hair I had PLUCKED from my top lip onto the SMOOTH AS A BABY’S BOTTOM patch……….instead I resorted to a COMB-OVER!
I can only conclude the family ( who will be getting a magnified mirror for Christmas) had not mentioned it out of KINDNESS.
Oh well HAIR TODAY GONE TOMORROW.
WHERE ARE BOB’S BOOBS?
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, you may be confused as to Bob’s boobs. It is PANTOMIME TIME hence my absence and it is a serious matter when you are 20 minutes to CURTAIN UP and the DAME’S BOOBS have gone walkabout! Luckily they were found, MRS BIGGERBUNS thought they were HIS by mistake. Easily done in the MAYHEM of the dressing room.
Theresa was complimented on her FIVE O’CLOCK SHADOW, Madam Sinagalot was struggling to haul up her tights that were stuck around her knees and one of the DONGERS had put his NAKED MAN SUIT on back to front and couldn’t find his COMFORT HOLE!
All in all a great first night.
OH NO IT WASN’T, OH YES IT WAS!