BRUSSELMANCER, yes my dear ladies and occasional gentleman I can feel your confusion (see it’s already working, I know what you are thinking)
I have just read about a lady who is an ASPARAMANCER, mmn exactly. Apparently she can tell the future from casting her fresh WORCESTERSHIRE grown ASPARAGUS and interpreting what it tells her.
I thought I would give it a try as I am writing a BOOK and thought I could find out how SUCCESSFUL it will be. Unfortunately I didn’t have any WORCESTERSHIRE ASPARAGUS about my person but I did have some DEVONSHIRE BRUSSEL SPROUTS.
Here is my first casting.
I think I need more practise as I’m not sure what this is telling me.
If my dear ladies and occasional gentleman you are more skilled in the art of BRUSSELMANCING, PLEASE if you have the time interpret this casting for me.
In the meantime, back to the writing.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman my dear friend Gloria, myself and another dear friend decided to take our HUSBANDS out for a little AIRING. It does them good to get them out to socialise a little.
So off we went to the unique DUKE OF YORK in IDDESLEIGH, NORTH DEVON. Some of you I am sure are aware that this is where the author MICHAEL MORPURGO met the VETERANS who told him the story of how all the HORSES were taken for the FIRST WORLD WAR. He wrote about this in his wonderful book WAR HORSE.
My great-uncle rode one of these brave horses so the story is a very poignant one for me.
This is NOT my GREAT UNCLE, it’s Ronald. Enjoying a pint of SUB MARINER REAL ALE. I must admit, I wouldn’t mind a taste of a REAL SUBMARINER.
We shall be returning soon with HIRSUTE ROLEY as DOGS are welcome and he has a particular interest as THE REVEREND JACK RUSSELL used to be the CURATE at the local church. He was the famous TERRIER MAN father of the much loved JACK RUSSELL TERRIER and Hirsute Roley is a JACK RUSSELL X PART YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
When I say the Reverend was the FATHER of the JACK RUSSELL, I didn’t mean literally. I would’nt dare cast nasturtiums.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman if you are visiting our beautiful part of Devon, do visit this pretty village and perhaps partake of a GIN & TONIC, a pint of REAL ALE or perhaps a MEAL.
Yours Marching Up to The Top of the Hillily