My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, today Ronald NEARLY made my day when he said “I’m going to give you a little touch up, I know you’ve been wanting it” accompanied by a cheeky little smile.
Ooh must be the hot weather! I lay back and draped myself in what I hoped was a seductive manner on the garden swing.
Ronald headed my way, bypassed me and delved into his SHED, coming out with a tin of paint and a paintbrush.
He turned the metal two-seater garden seat upside down and started happily painting away. He didn’t notice the DISAPPOINTMENT on GRUMPY visage or realise that Hirsute Roley was lying underneath, sensibly in the shade out of the hot sun.
Nothing to see here his look says as he sits on my POANG with his large BLUE STREAK.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, do you like to read? I know I do.
If you like to read and enjoy a good chuckle perhaps you might like to read this, a sci-fi comedy romp across the multiverse.
ps. Available on Amazon
SOCKS & SHORTS! What, I hear you cry my dear ladies and occasional gentleman are you talking about?
I am talking about MEN wearing SOCKS with SHORTS!
This used to be a look the older gentleman favoured but I am sorry to have to inform you that even young men are now sporting this look.
I recently had the misfortune to espy a young man who had adopted a heavy metal/rock look with his long black hair and black rocker band t-shirt. As this rebel without a cause pushed his baby-stroller past me I was able to view what completed his ensemble.
A pair of long mid-calf SHORTS with about 10 centimetres of hairy leg before the black SOCKS!
This is not a good look!
I will admit that the occasional dapper senior gentleman, wearing smartly pressed linen shorts, can get away with a white knee-length sock, even better if held up by a suspender.
So I appeal to you occasional gentleman.
IF IT’S WARM ENOUGH TO WEAR SHORTS, IT’S WARM ENOUGH NOT TO WEAR SOCKS!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, this morning Ronald is LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!
Last night his SNORING was so OUTRAGEOUSLY loud that I nearly put a PILLOW over his head.
And left it there
p.s. Thank you John Lewis for the lovely picture of pillows