PRIDE & SOGGY BOTTOMS you may ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman and I will tell you. We have had everything weather-wise thrown at us this week. Spectacular LIGHTNING and THUNDER, SNOW, TORRENTIAL RAIN, BRIGHT SUNSHINE and HAILSTONES. So this morning whilst we had the sunshine I suggested to Ronald that we take Hirsute Roley for a brisk walk.

Grumbling whilst switching off his KINDLE and dragging himself of the sofa, Ronald readied himself. In the meantime I had donned WATERPROOF COAT, WOOLY HAT, KNEE-LENGTH WELLY SOCKS, WELLINGTON BOOTS and gloves; Hirsute Roley was sporting his striped high necked jumper, we were ready.

Half-way down the lane with rivers of water running either side, slushing through the cow and horse dung, Ronald decided he had the WRONG TROUSERS on. I pointed out that he also had the WRONG SHOES on and why hadn’t he worn his WELLINGTON BOOTS? “I don’t need them” he retorted.

“I think we’ll walk back now” says Ronald, Hirsutes Roley’s feet are wet.

There is the distinct sound of SQUELCHING FEET!

Yours Superiordly Dry

Celia