NEVER ASSUME

I have fallen out with my dear friend Veronica.

She asked Ronald to come around and LOOK at her CRACK!

I was SHOCKED and took UMBRIDGE to this BOLD INTIMATE request, what a HUSSY!

I thought she was my friend and a LADY!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I tell you this SAD tale as a warning.

NEVER ASSUME!

It turns out, she was DECORATING and had a CRACK in the plastered wall for which she wanted advice on how to deal with it.

Yours Embarrassedly

Celia

Dear Celia, I have just found Ronald’s knob in my car. I think it fell off the rail I borrowed yesterday. I am now tackling my crack. I am ‘doing it myself’! Ronald said to gouge and fill. Yours Veronica

8 thoughts on “NEVER ASSUME

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    1. Oh what a kind offer, I have come over all flustered. Perhaps you would give me a little time to think about it. The talking part is fine but I do like to preserve my privacy. You have no idea how much attention I get just for being a ‘Fanny’ ! The last show I did with my fellow ‘Fannys’ was last December and yet when I visited a doctor I didn’t know for an eye problem, she insisted she knew me. I had never clapped eyes on her before, then she burst out with “Oh your a ‘Fanny’ aren’t you, I just love you ladies, you are so funny” Fine I thought but what about my eye! Doctor – “it’s no good I can’t look at you without laughing” Me – “thanks but what about my eye”?
      So John you see my problem, I am not sure if I can expose myself on Skype. Perhaps we can think of another way.

      Your dear friend

      Celia

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Definitely do not want to push you into doing something you do not want to do. But if we don’t use your real name then no one will know it’s you, right?

        We can just call you “Agony Aunt” so no one will know who you are.

        What do you think of that?

        We really think you are perfect for the pat of Agony Aunt and Chris was really excited about the idea when I pitched it to him!

        -john

        Like

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