I have fallen out with my dear friend Veronica.

She asked Ronald to come around and LOOK at her CRACK!

I was SHOCKED and took UMBRIDGE to this BOLD INTIMATE request, what a HUSSY!

I thought she was my friend and a LADY!

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I tell you this SAD tale as a warning.


It turns out, she was DECORATING and had a CRACK in the plastered wall for which she wanted advice on how to deal with it.

Yours Embarrassedly


Dear Celia, I have just found Ronald’s knob in my car. I think it fell off the rail I borrowed yesterday. I am now tackling my crack. I am ‘doing it myself’! Ronald said to gouge and fill. Yours Veronica

8 thoughts on “NEVER ASSUME

    • Oh what a kind offer, I have come over all flustered. Perhaps you would give me a little time to think about it. The talking part is fine but I do like to preserve my privacy. You have no idea how much attention I get just for being a ‘Fanny’ ! The last show I did with my fellow ‘Fannys’ was last December and yet when I visited a doctor I didn’t know for an eye problem, she insisted she knew me. I had never clapped eyes on her before, then she burst out with “Oh your a ‘Fanny’ aren’t you, I just love you ladies, you are so funny” Fine I thought but what about my eye! Doctor – “it’s no good I can’t look at you without laughing” Me – “thanks but what about my eye”?
      So John you see my problem, I am not sure if I can expose myself on Skype. Perhaps we can think of another way.

      Your dear friend


      Liked by 1 person

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