RONALD GETS DOWN AND DIRTY & DISPLAYS HIS GENIUS.
Wanting to plant some CABBAGES and CAULIFLOWERS we went to look at some CLOCHES to protect them from the voracious SLUGS and SNAILS.
They are EXPENSIVE almost equalling the cost of a small PRIVATE JET!
Ronald takes control and we head to a CHEAP and CHEERFUL value shop, where whilst I am having a RUMMAGE amongst RIBBONS, TRIMS and CRAFT paraphernalia he FERRETS around trying to discover an alternative.
We check out three £1.00 POP-OUT MESH LAUNDRY BAGS and some GREEN PLASTIC GARDEN PEGS. As we head for the car, it goes through my mind that Ronald may have been watching RE-RUNS of 1970’s BLUE PETER.
Here is the result over the CAULIFLOWERS. GENIUS!
Now we know it works, we will return for some to cover the CABBAGES.
I have fallen out with my dear friend Veronica.
She asked Ronald to come around and LOOK at her CRACK!
I was SHOCKED and took UMBRIDGE to this BOLD INTIMATE request, what a HUSSY!
I thought she was my friend and a LADY!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I tell you this SAD tale as a warning.
It turns out, she was DECORATING and had a CRACK in the plastered wall for which she wanted advice on how to deal with it.
Dear Celia, I have just found Ronald’s knob in my car. I think it fell off the rail I borrowed yesterday. I am now tackling my crack. I am ‘doing it myself’! Ronald said to gouge and fill. Yours Veronica
A QUICK JUMP my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, wasn’t what I was expecting when Ronald invited me into the SUMMERHOUSE this morning for a cup of COFFEE but no sooner had I sat down when this GIANT GRASSHOPPER JUMPED!
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How exciting I have been nominated for a ‘Blog’ award, I think in this instance I must ignore the vulgar word.
A new reader to my little Bliss nominated me a dear lady called Silver Threads (what were her parents thinking).
According to the rules I have to list seven things about myself and nominate another. So here goes.
1. I am lucky enough to have Her Majesty as one of my dearest friends
2. I am lucky enough to have the same husband now as I did in the beginning
3. I am lucky enough to have 3 children who live in different parts approx 3 1/2 hrs drive away
4. I am lucky enough to have been locked on Brighton Pier with The Rolling Stones
5. I am lucky enough to have sung in the Albert Hall, London
6. I am lucky enough to perform with The Fannys, Fannying Around
7. I am lucky enough to write scripts, stories, pantomimes and my little bliss.
I nominate thedrunkencyclist.com
I HAVE NEVER HAD AN ORGASM EATING A YOGHURT! Or when SHAMPOOING my hair in an ECONOMY FLIGHT TOILET!
HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I am no PRUDE as I am sure you will agree and I think my sense of humour is still intact but really do we need to see NICOLE SCHERZINGER purporting to experience an orgasm by eating YOGHURT?
Although hers is so brief it hardly seems worth the effort. I’m sure you’ll agree my dear ladies (sorry not you, occasional gentleman) but if we are going to go through all that effort, it should at least LAST LONGER than just the time it takes to SWALLOW!
And while I am having a RANT what about the ‘ARTFUL’ dob of YOGHURT on her nose? She is not 5 years old, she is a WOMAN of 36. There seems to be a PLETHORA of YOGHURT adverts, how many different types of YOGHURT do we need?
P.S. Ronald has just pointed out that my penultimate paragraph may have a second connotation. I am not sure what he means but just to be sure I meant of course one swallow of yoghurt.
P.P.P.S I might take some of my words back, I have just discovered they have named a Yoghurt after my little ‘Bliss’. C