BRASSIERES & THE WRONG TROUSERS
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, attending a ‘Spring Market’ the other day with my dear friend Veronica, I noticed A WORRYING TREND. We all like to relax at home in our relaxing garments, ELASTICATED WAISTBANDS, vests with REINFORCED CHEST area so you don’t have to wear a BRASSIERE (not of course the occasional gentleman), (well only if you have MAN-BOOBS), LAST SUMMER’S T-SHIRTS, the dipping hem CARDIGAN your GRANNY knitted, you understand what I mean. However what we DON’T DO is wear these garments out and about IN PUBLIC!
The gentlemen were the first culprits, many of them were wearing THE WRONG TROUSERS!
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I am going to spare you. There will NOT be any pictures, it was disturbing enough for my SENSIBILITIES and I am a WOMAN OF THE WORLD. I think we would all agree that the worst culprit is the JOGGING TROUSER, now we know they are as comfortable as wearing your PYJAMAS but that is the reason they must only be worn for PHYSICAL EXERCISE and LITTLE JOBS at home or RELAXING.
For a gentleman in jogging trousers, there is too much ROOM FOR IDLE HANDS in those FRONT POCKETS, isn’t there ladies? Far too much JIGGLING AROUND going on! they just cannot help themselves. One man looked as if he had borrowed his joggers from his COWS and had put them on in the dark. They were half up his TUMMY half down, twisted almost on sideways, the bottoms were heading to his KNEES not his ANKLES and they were adorned with COW POO. not a good look for an April Spring Fayre. Although he was a SMILEY man so he’s forgiven.
There were some lovely summery colourful ladies; one sporting a new PINK FLORAL SUMMER DRESS with spaghetti straps. Now she had bought it in her correct size. Unfortunately she had decided to wear it without underwear and her Bosoms were resting on the accompanying PINK SHINY BELT at her waist; there was a lot of Bosom!
LADIES PLEASE! Always wear a BRASSIERE or BIKINI TOP under a skimpy sundress unless you are under 9 years of age!
My congratulations go to the lady in her 60’s who was sporting a pair of SHORT YELLOW LINEN SHORTS over thick BROWN TIGHTS with a WHITE CARDIGAN over.
How interesting and wonderful people are, let us all go out and WEAR WHAT WE LIKE, dare to be different, experiment with COLOUR and STYLE but always remember, KEEP YOUR BRASSIERES ON!
p.s. I just wanted to point out that I didn’t mean I wear just an ELASTICATED WAISTBAND on its own, it is always accompanied by a trouser. C