BALLCOCKS & COCONUTS

BALLCOCKS & COCONUTS that my dear ladies and occasional gentleman is not something you hear in every day conversation. But I was at my monthly CRAFTING CLUB casually knitting the sleeve of my daughter-in-Law’s jacket when the subject came up.

You see we are planning to hold a Traditional Fete in the summer with all those great games; COCONUT SHY, CROCKERY SMASHING, WELLY WANGING, TUG-O-WAR etc. BUT we don’t have any money, we are trying to raise it, to buy a new STAGE for our VILLAGE HALL.

So dear Gwendoline who has a reputation for TOOL HANDLING has kindly offered to make the COCONUT SHY. Trying to construct the CUPS, Gwendoline has tested various items but without success.

This afternoon whilst sipping TEA and slip one knit one, it came to me BALLCOCKS! If you cut them in half they would make ideal cups for the COCONUTS and Gwendoline can MOUNT them, which I am sure she will enjoy!

She went straight home and produced this
image

Gwendoline is now STALKING the village PLUMBER as she tries to get her hands on his BALLCOCKS!

Yours Fetely

Celia

6 thoughts on “BALLCOCKS & COCONUTS

  1. Hmm, I thought I’d figure out from reading the post what a ballcock is, but no. And now I’m curious about welly wanging, too. Are they related? Like in “if you wang your welly at me one more time, I’m going to make you eat your ballcocks”? Or, “if you can cock your balls, I’ll show you how I wang my welly”? Are they interchangeable, as in cock wanging and ball wellying? And which one is more severe, wellying or wanging? Do English plumbers ever have regular balls? Does it depend on whether they’re wearing their wellies? Do their wellies wang their cocks off? Does this comment shock your socks off? Questions, questions.

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