RONALD & CELIA DO JOHN & YOKO.
My dear ladies and occasional gentlemen, this morning Ronald and I did a JOHN AND YOKO. Yes we really did, we went to BED TOGETHER in public, in fact we were in the window of the shop but there wasn’t any SINGING (Ronald is tone-deaf).

We have just discovered the MINEFIELD that is NEW BED buying. There is so much choice, too much because it is all very confusing. POCKET Sprung, DOUBLE Sprung, MAXI Sprung, ROCK Sprung. As you may remember we considered buying a new mattress before and then let the idea go but the time has come.

I am in favour of DITCHING our mattress, RECYCLING our present bed and buying a comfy KING-SIZE MODERN DIVAN. We have to have king-size so there is room for hirsute Roley in the middle. Ronald is thinking just to buy a new mattress for our WOODEN BEDSTEAD.

Who do you think is going to win this discussion? What would you do my dear ladies and occasional gentlemen?