FROCKS, TIFFEN & TOOL

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FROCKS, TIFFEN & TOOL

As you can see I have finished three PRINCESS  FROCKS. For two of them I gathered some VOILE into a rose and attached to the skirt, the other end I gathered into a ROSE and attached to an elastic wrist band, so that when they dance the fabric will billow. The third dress I attached the fabric to each shoulder, then gathered the other end into a ROSE and attached to a wrist band.

I am now tackling the DAME’S FROCK and I have stitched a curtain wire into the bottom to make it swing out. It was a little to long and needed to be cut. I could not manage on my own and had to ask Ronald to get his TOOL out. Tomorrow I need to make bulky swags to attach.

This morning I visited one of my lady friends, she is an ARTIST and has kindly agreed to paint the PRINCESSES BED for the PANTOMIME, with twenty MATTRESSES and twenty QUILTS. She served COFFEE and TIFFIN how tasty. I suggested that she start her own BLISS as I am sure you would love to see some of her beautiful PICTURES and other ART WORK. I will show you the finished bed.

Yours Tiffinly

Celia

HAPPY SUNDAY – TARTING DAMES

HAPPY SUNDAY – TARTING DAMES

Happy Sunday my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I believe it is ‘HAPPINESS WEEK’ somewhere in the world this week.

Ronald went into town for his SUNDAY PAPERS this morning and the young lady with the RUBENESQUE figure was overcome by a gigantic yawn.

“Heavy night?” enquired Ronald

“No” replied RUBENESQUE young woman, “I’m pregnant, and I am constantly tired”

“Oh” replied a bemused Ronald.

As he explained to me on returning home ” How could she tell she was PREGNANT, she was big enough to fit six babies in and not notice!”.

That’s EVOLUTION I told him, the younger generation are all getting bigger, just as we are bigger than our grandparents.

“They should have more self-control over their eating” said Ronald pouring his second glass of GUINNESS.

This afternoon I shall be MAKING-OVER a ‘DAMES’ dress it needs a little TARTING up, here is the before picture, hopefully the after picture will show an improvement. I also have some princess dresses to do.

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Yours Sewingly

Celia

ALCHEMY, FORAGING, LINEN & SKITTLES

ALCHEMY, FORAGING, LINEN & SKITTLES.
Good afternoon my lovely ladies and occasional gentleman. Hello to all my new readers, how flattered am I that you enjoy my little BLISS. Hello to a lovely lady, Barbara over the pond in AUSTIN, TEXAS and hello to a new occasional gentleman Eli, all the way from Australia. I cannot mention you all but I will if you feel like commenting or want a chat.

This morning I visited my friend VERONICA, Oh what fun we had.
VERONICA TEACHING
CELIA CREATING
Veronica was teaching me how to make BATH-BOMBS, an unfortunate name I prefer BATH-MELTS, not so explosive. She is a clever little ALCHEMIST with her ESSENTIAL OILS and other wonderful ingredients.

Afterwards we went out for a LADIES LIGHT LUNCH, how lovely. Followed by a FORAGE (Veronica has a bent for it) in the CHARITY SHOPS.

It is interesting who you see skulking around the ladies section, people who would rather have you believe their garments came from JOHN LEWIS! We did meet some of our lady-friends and had a jolly chat, what fun.

Veronica is an expert at WHIPPING HER CLOTHES OFF in a small space. She found a very CHIC ‘ELLA MODA linen dress for me and a LAURA ASHLEY for herself. I discovered a LOOSE LINEN top for Ronald very OUZO, he likes a bit of GREEK.

I must dash, we are off out for a SKITTLES DINNER this evening, we’ve been invited because Ronald plays when the local team are a man short.

Yours Dressingupidly

Celia

BUM OBSERVATIONS, PICK- A – MIX, FAKE BOOBS & CUP HOOKS

BUM OBSERVATIONS, PICK – MIX, FAKE BOOBS & CUP-HOOKS
This morning, this morning had a piece with a woman who read BUMS. If that wasn’t absurd enough it went on to show so called CELEBRITIES BUMS poking through a hole in the scenery. The BUM-READER went on to OBSERVE the characteristics of the BUM-OWNER.

Firstly why was I watching it? Well I was trying to catch a news item I had missed.
Secondly who were the CELEBRITIES? I could not name one of them.
Thirdly what WERE the programme makers thinking of.
Reading bums poked through a hole, pleeaase ! Surely there are other more interesting subjects they could choose but perhaps I am just being boring, perhaps there are some of you out there who like READING BUMS.

Meanwhile back to the new bed-linen. After the trauma of shopping with all the PICK-A-MIX of BED LINEN to choose from, colours style, fabric etc, when we had finally chosen our bed set, we decided to purchase some new curtains as well. That is when life became difficult because the matching curtains were in a PLEATED TOP rather than an EYELET TOP.

Sorry my dear ladies and the occasional gentleman I must absent, Ronald has had to pop into town for a pair of FAKE BOOBS, some CUP HOOKS, BULBS and SUPER GLUE

Yours Harriedly

Celia

ROLEY’S REPRIEVE

ROLEY’S REPRIEVE, yes I can confirm Roley’s ASBO has been lifted.

Whilst taking our afternoon walk and meeting various villagers and catching up on the LOCAL GOSSIP, I happened to notice a D.O.G enter the CHURCHYARD. It is allowed because it’s owner locks up the church, it was a quiet old dog, just plodding along with it’s human.

It turns out this ASBO should have been applied to a much larger dog than Roley and apparently this dog had been chasing around the CHURCHYARD when someone had been placing flowers on a GRAVE and something had been knocked over, causing some upset. So the notice was put up to stop this happening.

Now my dear ladies and the occasional gentleman, Ronald and I went out to purchase some new bed linen and curtains for our bedroom this morning. He is putting up the curtains and has lost his FINIAL must dash!

Yours

Celia

FATHER BROWN, REAL WOMEN, UPCYCLING & MY FRIEND THE QUEEN

FATHER BROWN, REAL WOMEN & UPCYCLING.

I am becoming addicted toTHE FATHER BROWN MYSTERIES! on BBC1. It is set in the late 1940’s with all of the POST-WAR GLAMOUR. The dresses and hats are marvelous. The dresses have the most interesting prints and are beautifuly tailoured. They were designed with REAL  women in mind, to enhance their womanly shape and celebrate the fact they have boobs, bums and hips!

I am a REAL WOMAN. I think I should wear more of this era of clothing.

Kirsty Allsopp adopts the 1940’s style of dresses, I think she should add hats to her vintage look. No doubt she would be able to make her own, after all she UPCYCLES everything. She would probably UPCYCLE one from an old LAURA ASHLEY cushion bought from the RED CROSS shop, unpicked with some of the stuffing taken out, a bit of RIC-RAC BRAIDING and a couple of silk flowers and FANNYS your aunt.

That my dear ladies and the occasional gentleman has given me an idea perhaps Veronica and I can actually make some new SPRING HATS using this idea and if we are really clever we could video it like those clever people do on YOU TUBE. Although I do struggle with the TECHNOLOGY  so I cannot promise anything.

Veronica is the QUEEN of foraging so when I am planning a foray into the CHARITY SHOPS I nearly always go with her.

Although thinking about the QUEEN it is about this time of the year dear Elizabeth casts her knowing eyes over her SPRING WARDROBE and BLESS HER, she often sends a lackey with an outfit she thinks will suit me that has appeared on too many STATE VISITS.

Yours Creatively

Celia

 

EARACHE, ASBO & MANICURE

EARACHE, ASBO & MANICURE

What a day dear ladies and the occasional gentleman, it started with HIRSUTE ROLEY being served an ASBO. He is distraught as am I.

Then to add to his woes we took him to the vet because he has EARACHE. He was quite happy to enter the vets, he loves the NURSESIMG_0128 and the other doggy patients but when it was our turn to go into THE EXAMINATION ROOM, he braced himself as if against a force 10 gale and refused. You could see him thinking ” the last time I went in there; the buggers shoved something up my bum!” (please excuse his language)

So 15 minutes, ear drops and a DOGGY MANICURE later I was £45 lighter! But he’s worth it.

To get back to the ASBO, apparently there have been complaints about Roley being exercised in the churchyard. As you know my dear mother passed in the summer and Roley and I occasionaly on our daily walk, have taken to popping into the CHURCHYARD to visit her grave and have a chat. He was always on a lead and in no-way were we disrespectful. But a notice has gone up on the LYCHGATE ‘NO DOGS ALLOWED IN THE CHURCHYARD’

My dear ladies and occasional gentleman do you feel as sad as I feel? I thought all GOD’s creatures were welcome, some churchyards sensibly have sheep to keep the grass down. I am sorry if I have offended anybody but I am sorry that I cannot visit with my little dog who is a comfort to me.

Yours Sadly

Celia

BARNARDOS, BIRTHDAYS & BOATS

BARNARDOS, BIRTHDAYS & BOATS
What a busy day I say as the clock ticks past midnight. Even though it is late I just thought I will update you . Actually I’ m not sure what that means, does it mean you don’t know the date and you need me to tell you? Oh well heigh ho.

This morning Gloria, Morello and I went hunting in the sales for pantomime costumes. Morello insisted on a COFFEE to carry around not 3 minutes after we had parked! She knows how I I feel about eating and drinking on the streets, it’s just not LADYLIKE. the only time it is acceptable is at the seaside. Apart from that I find it extremely difficult to drink out of a plastic container with a lid on, they are simply not designed for drinking from.

There was a sticky moment in the DR BARNARDOS charity shop when Gloria picked up a ladies sparkly top and enquired “do you think this will fit Stephan? It will go with his skirt”? The grey-haired lady with the blue DAMART coat, shopping trolley and her jaw down to her knees felt compelled to say “well it takes all sorts”. Gloria hastened to assure her this was a panto costume but she was not convinced. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me love, whatever FLOATS YOUR BOAT” she said as she slid past a rack of gilets that had seen better days, dragging half of them off in her wake.

Of course Morello found herself a brand new pair of SKINNY JEANS, for £3, she has her own personal radar.

Tonight we dolled out the costumes and then went straight into rehearsal until Morello arrived to teach one of the dance numbers. My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I do try to learn the dances as well but the arm movements in this dance were like an ITALIAN POLICEMAN directing traffic at SPAGHETTI JUNCTION. My arm popped in and out of it’s sockets more times than an MP pops in and out of PARLIAMENT.

After rehearsals there was a friends 30th BIRTHDAY PARTY and Ronald and I have been strutting our stuff on the dance floor and taking a little drink or two, which is why this BLISS is coming to you at 33 minutes past midnight.

Must dash Ronald’s nearly finished his HORLICKS!

Yours Merrily

Celia

EPILEPTIC FOX & RADIOACTIVE CARROT

EPILEPTIC FOX & RADIOACTIVE CARROT.
Well my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I expect you are wondering how our ladies lunch went. Veronica did enjoy the soup, well she did finish 10 minutes before myself and Ronald, which is a good indicator and the accompanying warm roll was also enjoyed. I must say myself it was delicious.

We had many exciting things to discuss such as our plans for 2014.
Ronald kept us supplied with tea and coffee in between looking for his sponge. He stopped to update Veronica on the state of his allergy and expressed his concerns saying “I might go into EPELEPTIC FOX” Veronica looked confused until she realised he meant ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK at which point she collapsed into hysterics laughing so much her mascara ran, not a good look.
I am used to Ronald’s little foibles but he does make me laugh.

Then Morello turned up what a lovely surprise and proceeded to colour my hair. The reason being her older sister Sabina visited two weeks ago and coloured my hair for me unfortunately I had gone from being a light golden brown to RADIOACTIVE CARROT colour. So for the past fortnight I have been wearing a lot of hats!

Yours Nervously

Celia

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