SISTERS, STRING-VESTS & SHOP-BOUGHT BATTENBURG you may ask.
How bold am I this afternoon? As you will see I have attached a video for your perusal. Now I want you to keep it to yourselves as it is a video of my dear sister Joan. I am only showing you because she is off with her new husband PACO, who wears immaculate white linen suits and treats her like a GODDESS, on a jolly to the MALDIVES.
Sadly her first husband was a dissappointment and she didn’t discover his STRING-VEST until the HONEYMOON. Being a lady the first time she saw him undressed was on their wedding night. Oh he was a trial, how my dear sister put up with it I don’t know, she was a MARTYR.
She would lay out her LADYLIKE TEA of an afternoon, the same as I’m sure you my dear ladies and the occasional gentleman do; A pot of tea, cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off and a lovely VICTORIA SPONGE. Occasionaly she would make some super EGG sandwiches from a recipe that our dear QUEEN slipped me after a MAUNDAY THURSDAY service. But not a bite would pass HIS LIPS, HE WOULD DEMAND FISH-PASTE DOORSTEP sandwiches and a piece of SHOP-BOUGHT BATTENBERG, with a 2 litre bottle of CIDER. How could any lady put up with that for long and I am not even going to mention his personal habits!
Anyway that is all in the past and I am still fretting about what to serve Veronica for lunch tomorrow!