FISHNETS FANNYS & THONGS. What larks ladies and the occasional gentleman. Myself and my dear friend Veronica embarked on our filming for the SILVER SCREEN. I must say doesn’t it take a long ti me to look like OVER-EASY MAN-EATERS.?
My daughter Morello with the artistic bent advised me to ‘DOUBLE-TIGHT IT’ (FISHNETS on top) then a second pair of KNICKERS to keep everything safe and in place.
I struggled to heave the rubber skirt on, but quite liked the BLACK-KNIT-LUREX-SILVER-STRETCH TOP WITH A ROLL-NECK.
Veronica of course had taken things a little too far, she is so enthusiastic sometimes she forgets she is a lady! She had decided to wear what can only be described as A SILVER-GREY-STRETCH-BAND-AID WITH A PINK-LACE THONG peeping over the top of her fishnets. I did say it was meant to be a skirt and not a dress but Hey-Ho.
Morello did our make-up what a palaver. Unfortunately the cheap FALSE-EYELASHES & glue stuck my right eye together which later caused the embarrassing incident with an unknown darts player, his falsetto shout of BULLS-EYE and sudden doubling over nearly resulted in my receiving a second ear-piercing with a PURE SHOT STEEL-TIPPED DART!
Filming took place in the local sports club, I was a little cross on arrival to find HAROLD THE CROSS-DRESSING LIBRARIAN already ensconced at the bar wearing an AMY WINEHOUSE wig with A PINK-SPANDEX-CRYSTAL-ENCRUSTED-HALTER-NECK over TOURQUOISE STRIPED LEGGINGS. I was not prepared to be upstaged and firmly told him to put on his MARKS & SPENCER CASHMILLON CARDIGAN and cover up.
Veronica and I had taken a little VINO for courage beforehand and on arrival we seemed to prove quite popular with the gentlemen who kindly bought us more so we embibed a few as it would have been rude to refuse. Things seemed to deteriorate fast after that but I am not sure why. I think we were caught up in the moment.
Suffice it to say when we looked at the pictures the following day we nearly burned out the delete button on the computer. Poor Ronald who happened to catch a glimpse in passing, came over all peculiar and retired to his shed clutching ‘WOODBURNERS FOR THE UN-INITIATED’ to the front of his skinny-legged trousers (he safety-pinned them himself in order to look like DERMOT O’LEARY off X-FACTOR).
Thankfully we do have enough photos that are not showing our FANNYS or THONGS to be made into a film which will be shown at a concert fundraising for a new CHEMOTHERAPY UNIT for the hospital.
We are returned to our ladylike state and I apologise if I have embarrassed any of my ladies and occasional gentleman who are following my Bliss.