BULLOCKS! Gloria and I set off for an evening walk with Roley trotting alongside. How we wished we had taken our foraging baskets with us as the profusion of ripe SUCCULANT BLACKBERRIES tempted us along our way.

All was well as we dallied along the country lanes admiring the CORN on the cob AS HIGH AS AN ELEPHANTS EYE and ROSY ROSEHIPS RESTING in the hedgerow. Until after a long straight run with no gateways we turned the corner and spied a BAND OF BREAKAWAY BULLOCKS.

Roley froze on the spot, we copied his example, then turned slowly so as not to call attention walked slowly back around the corner; then ran like hell for the nearest gateway.

Clambering up the gate in as ladylike manner as possible, triumph as I straddled the top then tragedy as I toppled off into an undignified heap on the ground; wishing I had not gone COMMANDO under my dirndl skirt as a large CORN ON THE COB thrust it’s way between my legs. OUCH!

So now we are stuck in a cornfield without a mobile phone signal; resourceful Gloria climbed to the top of the gate to gain height and hopefully a signal but no luck.

20 Minutes later under a darkening sky and after hearing bucolic shouting and mooing noises we decided it was safe to proceed using Roley as our COW-DETECTER.

Arrived home under the stars to find that Ronald hadn’t even noticed I wasn’t home!

Yours Humpily


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