My mother finally went down for surgery at 9.00pm last night. My daughter Lettuce and I had been at the hospital all day so hungry, we went for some food. We wanted something quick so as to be back in time for mother to exit the theatre. Let us go to MCDONALDS said Lettuce.

We arrived and made our way through the gathered YOOF; all below the age of 17/18. At the counter was a very pleasant young lady who enquired what we would like. What I would like would have been a BASIL & PINE NUT MAGHERITE PASTA with a lightly tossed salad but I did not think I would obtain it there.

Whilst we were perusing the menu a queue had formed behind us and we panicked aware that we were holding things up, so quickly placed an order.

The young lady gave us our coffees and said she would bring the order to our table.

We made our way through the YOOF and past a young mother with a baby in a pram, father with what appeared to be a prison-issue hoody over his head (bearing in mind he was indoors and it was hot and 10 o’clock at night) and sat down at a table next to a group of ‘ONE DIRECTION’ look-a-likes.

The pleasant young lady brought our meal to the table. As she placed the ‘KIDS HAPPY MEAL’ boxes down we could here sniggering around us. We had inadvertently in our haste ordered children’s meals.

With as much dignity as we could muster we pulled out the contents, ate our meal and left dodging the boy-racers in the car park.

Heading back to the hospital, Lettuce suddenly shouted “MOTHER THE LIGHTS ARE RED”! I had accidentally shot through, I slammed on the brakes flinging my arm out to stop Lettuce going through the windscreen, forgetting she was not 6 anymore.

Waiting in the hallway outside the ward for Mother to return, I think we were slightly hysterical by this point as there was a high risk my mother would not survive the operation. To keep our minds off things Lettuce decided to teach me some BOKWA. After about 15. Minutes I realised there was security cameras. Can you imagine the watchers ” here come and look at these pair of nutters)

The good news is my wonderful 83 year old Mother endured stomach surgery awake with just local anaesthetic which they couldn’t’t give enough to kill the pain because it would be too toxic for her. How incredibly stoical are our old folk, we must treasure them.

Arrived home at 12.15 am.

Yours Tiredly


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