This morning I took mothers book out of it’s Nike plastic bag; there was no way I was giving it to her with ‘Just Do It’ on the front. It might reinforce any ideas she might have.
As I pulled it out a receipt slipped out for HEAVY DUTY HAIR REMOVAL CREAM and a packet of GAULOISES. Hmm possibly Dolly’s, Miss Baines is so dried up that her follicles are too tight to release any hairs. Plus there was a strong smell and a few crumbs of MARZIPAN. Now I know for a fact that Miss Baines is partial to a BATTENBURG because Harold told me she brings it in one of those American style lunch-pails as they call them. We ladies would call it a lunch-box any way she has a padlock on it. I think the ladies had been perusing THE BOOK!

Arrived at mothers to find her in a bit of a state “the mists are descending over my eyes, my time has come”. She had opened the curtains and looked out of the window and it was all misty and blurred. Realised she had cleaned them with Windolene and forgotten to polish it off!

I polished off the windows with a clean cloth from the airing cupboard, it was only when I had finished I realised they were a pair of Y FRONTS, have no idea whose they were and didn’t ask.

Left her reading the book, dunking a GINGER NUT and with a big smile on her face.

Yours Concernedly


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