RONALD GETS IT UP

Ronald has been at it all morning and wouldn’t give in until he got it up; bless him. He said it was a matter of pride. I told him, “don’t worry, I don’t mind waiting” but no he had to keep going. It really is starting to take shape but that Mr Cambria next door deflated him with three words. Poor Ronald.

Mr Cambria is from Cumbria and most of the time we can’t understand a word he says, I said to Ronald “he probably didn’t say what you thought he said dear. He probably said “you were mucking about” and I really didn’t think it was necessary to get your hose out”, After all we’ve had a week of sunshine they are bound to say there’s a water shortage and we’re heading for a drought’

I tried to calm Ronald down with a nice cup of camomile tea and a gypsy cream but by the time I had put the kettle on (I wasn’t wearing it, just on the hob) he’d poured himself four fingers of malt whisky and broken out the Duchy Lemon Thins and it was only 10.30 in the morning.

Veronica I’m not sure Ray Mears survival cookery book is the one for you; what about Bear Grills? From what they say grilling is healthier. I do wish you would curtail your foraging, why not get yourself an alottment?

Yours Ears-Burningingly

Celia