In my dream I was trying to persuade Ronald to let me go into the GIANT WOOL WAREHOUSE (not giant wool, that would be silly, unless you were knitting for a giant). His argument was that we didn’t have enough room in my FIAT 500 CONVERTABLE. My argument was that besides having quite a large boot when the top is down we can fill the backseats. After all we did manage to get a Poang chair in there, not because the Fiat doesn’t have backseats.

Anyway back to my dream, I suddenly had a pain in my lower right abdomen the perfect excuse. “See” I said to Ronald “you’ve given me a pain”, he then held open the warehouse door with a look of resignation and waved me and the FORK-LIFT through.

I was just diving into a huge roof-height pile of WOOL SKEINS when the pain woke me up. It has been intermittent all day, could it be my appendix?

If dear ladies and the odd gentleman you do not find my daily bliss tomorrow, you will know where I am.

By the way Little Nanook’s wool came, so I will be able to finish his blanket.

Yours Uncomfortably



Thank you to TERRY PRATCHETT for this wonderful expression which was so apt for my lady friend Gloria.

My picture yesterday showed the ingredients I had bought for my flower DECORATION but what was missing were the ROSES and the GYPSOPHILA. So I telephoned Gloria who luckily enough was purchasing her FLOWERS and was kind enough to say she would purchase mine as well. Unfortunately as I telephoned, her KNICKERS were struggling to fight against GRAVITY and were heading for her knees threatening to arrive at her ankles. Hence “There’s many a slip twixt dress and drawers” as NANNY OGG would say. Poor Gloria was struggling with her mobile, flowers and UNDERWEAR but she is a determined LADY.

Hope you think my ‘WEDDING CAKE’ flower display is good enough to put in the CHURCH window.

Yours Floraly



I must apologise for yesterdays title, I of course meant to say a TIP from Ronald.

Assembled in the picture are the ingredients to make a WEDDING CAKE, I kid you not!

Last week whilst walking with Gloria we were accosted by the lady who is organising the local church’s FLOWER FESTIVAL ‘A CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE’. Before I could say I was going on holiday to Patagonia, Gloria and I had been given a window each to decorate, a deadline for producing our framed WEDDING PICTURES and I was on a promise to bake 4 dozen scones for CREAM TEAS!

I have many talents, FLOWER ARRANGING is not one of them. I have to somehow turn this little lot into a wedding cake. I requested Ronald’s help but he grunted and retired to his shed with a beer and the paper.

Yours Nervously



What a clever chap he is and I thought I would share it with my lovely ladies and occasional gentleman. Ronald and his famous erections. I asked him if he would be kind enough to WIG-WAM my LE HARICOT VERT and look how inventive he has been. Although initially I wasn’t too happy about my BADMINTON RACQUET being dismembered I must admit it works very well.

I have secreted my competition RAQUET!

Yours Beanily



I hope you like the pictures of the finished SUMMERHOUSE. I think you will agree it is the perfect place for a lady to enjoy the good things in life and isn’t it always better in the open air?

I have decided with the help of dear WAITROSE, through the summer in my new garden residence I will be working my way through their GIN SHOWCASE. It starts with JUNIPER-LED GINS and I quote “Ideal for cocktails where the gin needs to shine through”. I will keep you updated.

Yours Happily


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