My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, today is my BIRTHDAY
Well this is what I am looking forward to..
And a new porcelain crown fitted.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GNASHERS!
P.S. A birthday treat, just had a visit from a lizard in the garden.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, you may remember my visit to the dentist for my broken tooth.
On entering the TORTURE CHAMBER my DENTIST smiled at me.
I gave him a piece of handmade LEMON & LIME with a hint of PATCHOULI soap, manly-wrapped in tissue and tied with twine. I made it at at a fantastic SOAP workshop run by a dear friend of mine, somebody had dropped out and she kindly offered me a place.
I was paired with an ‘INTERESTING LADY’ who had very STRONG ideas of the SOAP she would make. She decided on LEMON & LIME and as you can see an ‘INTERESTING’ colour choice. It was pointed out by the SOAP expert that a hint of PICHOULI would bring the SCENTS together.
This scent her over the edge as she reiterated that she could not abide PATCHOULI as it reminded her of an unpleasant boyfriend she had when she was 17.
It’s not that I lack compassion but as she was a woman in her late 50’s I thought it was time she got over it.
The PICHOULI went in.
SOFT-SOAPING? I lay back in the chair and he said ” No need for injections today, it’s a dead tooth so it won’t hurt.”
55 minutes of DRILLING, POST FITTING, MOLD taking, temporary CAP fitted I walked out.
My next appointment to have temporary cap removed and forever one fitted is next Tuesday. MY BIRTHDAY!
ps The soap is lovely.
pps I sat with the mold in my mouth for quite some time with the dentist checking it before he realised that it wasn’t going to set! It took a while to pull out the strings of what tasted like SECOND HAND CHEWING GUM. Embarrassment all round for the dentist (tee-hee).
KNITTING PRICKLY PROTECTION? I hear you ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, yes indeedy.
I needed some KNITTING NEEDLES to start a new project and was looking through my late mother’s collection when I came across these.
Ideal for KNITTING something WARM and WILLY……….I mean WOOLY for the WINTER.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman as I hope you may be aware I have been absent.
A veritable CORNUCOPIA of CELTICNESS.
You would have thought that with all this relaxation and beautiful surroundings my HAIR would have decided to stay on my HEAD.
On returning home I stepped into the shower (ladies don’t jump).
After I had washed my hair I noticed that I was paddling in about an inch of water.
Investigating the PLUGHOLE I discovered what appeared to be a small knitted jumper BORROWER size.
I HATE CLEANING PLUGHOLES THEY ARE GROSS!
TWO bottles of GIN or some decent wine.
TWO months supply of FURRY FOAM.
Yours ALOPECIA AURIATALY
P.S. I am still shaving my legs
P.P.S. Some eyebrow and eyelashes down the PLUGHOLE.
P.P.P.S. THE BORROWERS. See Mary Norton.
P.P.P.P.S. North Devon Photo courtesy of my dear friend Karen Owen.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I can sympathise with TIM PEAKE.
I too am FIGHTING a battle with GRAVITY.
This morning when looking in my MAGNIFYING MIRROR which I have to GIRD MY LOINS to do, I made a DISCOVERY.
I looked and it was MISSING!
I DISCOVERED it.
Heading towards my JAWLINE!
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