My dear ladies and occasional gentleman ‘IT LOOKS LIKE’ I am off to see SIR TOM JONES ‘IN A FIELD OF YELLOW DAISYS’ at Powderham castle!!!
‘I KNOW’ I’m going to get ‘FUNNY FAMILIAR FORGOTTEN FEELINGS’ so ”IT’S NOT UNUSUAL ‘ for me to be wearing my DOUBLE GUSSET SILK KNICKERS.
Tom, ‘WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT’? Well ‘ SHE’S A LADY’, Celia, in ‘THE GREEN GREEN GRASS OF THE LADYGARDEN HOME’.
Tom ‘SEX BOMB’ ‘I KNOW’ ‘YOU NEED LOVE LIKE I DO’, ‘I CAN’T GET NO SATISFACTION ‘.
‘AT THIS MOMENT’ ‘ARE YOU GONNA GO MY WAY’ and ‘LOVE ME TONIGHT’?
‘MAMA TOLD ME NOT TO COME’ (thank God for double gussets) but ‘ALL I EVER NEED IS YOU’
Tom, ‘YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU BEEN MISSING’, ‘I’M COMING HOME’ for your ‘KISS’
PERFECT FOR POLE DANCING my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman I returned from a very lovely AFTERNOON TEA with friends to discover Ronald had VACUUMED and WASHED all the floors.
What a WONDERFUL husband I hear you all SHOUT and you are correct and I thanked him accordingly.
Then with a HANGDOG faced he FESSED UP and showed me this:
Apparently our new GTECH VACUUM CLEANER is as the ADVERT says not only lightweight and cordless but POWERFUL!
POWERFUL enough to SUCK UP, CHEW AND SPIT OUT a sleeve of the baby jacket I had just finished KNITTING for a nephews impending baby.
I suppose I should be thankful the GTECH survived and it was just one sleeve!
Out come the knitting needles again.
Ronald has had a bit of making up to do.
SUMMER NIPPLE ALERT? Well you may ask my dear ladies and occasional gentleman.
It’s SUMMER and we are all wearing our SUMMER JEWELLERY.
The lovely silver BRACELET in the picture, nearly SLICED my NIPPLE off whilst I was sleeping!
REMEMBER TO REMOVE BEFORE BEDTIME!
BLOOMERS IN THE LADYGARDEN my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, yes it’s Spring and many of the plants in the garden are blossoming.
The first LIZARD appeared this afternoon and no I’m not talking about Ronald, his skin has gone all SUPPLE since I bought him NIVEA FOR MEN.
Don’t worry I put the LIZARD safely on a rock in the SUN, better for it than being chased by HIRSUTE ROLEY.
P.S. I popped in to beautiful INSTOW this morning, it was looking stunning with BLUE SEA and matching SKY and a lovely view across to pretty APPLEDORE.
PPS hello Wendy.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman here in dear old BLIGHTY it is NATIONAL TEA DAY, so I invite you all to SHARE A CUP OF TEA with me.
TEA is consolation when you are grieving.
TEA is sharing laughter and fun with your friends.
TEA makes you feel better when nothing else works.
TEA is refreshing when it’s hot.
TEA is warming when it’s cold.
TEA comes in many guises.
TEA should be FAIR TRADE.
TEA who doesn’t love a cuppa?
This is a picture of my lovely mum and her lovely sister taking tea in the garden in the 1950’s
Just a normal tea for them but look at the teapot, hot water jug, bone-china teacups and saucers, plates of triangled bread and butter, jam in a dish, sliced homemade cake and a proper tablecloth pegged to the table.
So much better than a teabag in a mug.
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman it is now 16 DAYS since SKECHERS SOLD Ronald an ODD PAIR OF SHOES.
The shop we purchased them from SKECHERS WESTGATE, OXFORD have still not sent the correct shoe.
SKECHERS UK suggested I email CUSTOMER SERVICES, which I did on the 4 April, NO RESPONSE (except to acknowledge receipt of email and tell me I now have a ticket!)
SADLY I think they DON’T CARE about Ronald having a £59 ODD PAIR OF SHOES
Interestingly SKECHERS have responded in 1 MINUTE to my new TWEET today, saying that CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS will get to my EMAIL or I could RING THEM.
They must have a lot of complaint emails if they still haven’t reached mine.
I pointed out that I have PHONED the SHOP THREE TIMES, HEAD OFFICE TWICE, I think it’s TIME they PHONED ME.
Of course in the OLD DAYS the SHOP would have POSTED THE SHOE with a PREPAID LABEL for me to send the ODD SHOE back, as I suggested to the MANAGER
Instead there are TWEETS, EMAILS, FACEBOOK & BLOGS but NO SHOE!