BIG INFLATABLE D…?

BIG INFLATABLE D…?
My dear ladies and occasional gentleman today a PACKAGE arrived from George, I cast about in the depths of my memory for which GEORGE of my acquaintance would be sending me a parcel.

Re-examining the label I see it is addressed to Ronald and comes from a George in PINGFU TOWN, SHENZHEN, CHINA! Curious.

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Ronald has just popped to town for POTATOES and MALTESERS, two of the ESSENTIALS of life. The POTATOES are for Ronald.
As he doesn’t know it’s arrived it seems the ideal time to open the PACKAGE.

There is rather a strong smell of RUBBER or PLASTIC, it must be something for the car; I will let you know what I discover.

Yours Curiously

Celia

GREEN COFFEE BEANS, GNASHING OF TEETH & SPAM

GREEN COFFEE BEANS, GNASHING OF TEETH & SPAM

Oh dear poor Veronica, SHE HAS BEEN SPAMMED !

I must admit, my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, I was rather SURPRISED to receive an e-mail about ‘GREEN COFFEE BEANS’ being a wonder WEIGHT LOSS AID.

What I thought was Veronica implying? That I needed to lose weight? And who is DR OZ who had promoted these WONDER BEANS on his TELEVISION show?

It was a puzzle but not one I could deal with as I have been busy making a ROMANTIC ‘MR DARCY’ type shirt all day for ‘Mellors’ in the PANTOMIME. You will be pleased to know I finished it in time for this evenings rehearsal, where I was going to fit it on ‘Mellors’ but on arrival his wife proudly showed me a shirt SHE had made last night! She was so pleased with herself and thought she had been helping. So you will also be pleased to know I didn’t WHACK her around the ears with my shirt as I am a lady. I kept mine hidden in my bag, GRRRH, GNASHING OF TEETH!

Checking FACEBOOK on my arrival home, I see a message from Veronica explaining that her account had been HIJACKED and SPAMMED. What a relief, she can’t think I need to lose weight after all. I’m off to make a cup of tea and open a bag of MALTESERS.

Yours Gnashingly

Celia