CHRISTMAS IN THE COTSWOLDS. Yes dear ladies and the occasional gentleman, Ronald, hirsute Roley and I are here celebrating Christmas in the COTSWOLDS.
However we did wonder on our hazardous journey yesterday if we would be spending it in a SEASONALLY DECORATED SERVICE STATION with nothing but a HORSEMEAT BURGER and an OVER-PROCESSED DOUGHNUT for our Christmas dinner! But due to Ronald’s dogged determination (picked up from Roley no doubt) we did manage to arrive at our destination.
We only fell out once during our trip when we stopped at a SEASONALLY DECORATED SERVICE STATION for a comfort break. Ronald went first as he is a man and does not possess the self-control us ladies have. He returned and as he took hirsute Roley for a tiddle and I left for the ladies his parting shot was “DON’T BE TOO LONG”
Well! I am sure dear ladies you share my outrage, did I set a timescale on his absence? NO I DID NOT! I merely sat waiting patiently till his return, did I demand to go first? NO I DID NOT! It takes as long as it takes to walk there achieve your goals and return. It always takes longer for us ladies as there is usually a queue, for the toilets, the washbasin and the drier. Plus there was some very interesting goings on with a family which involved small red plastic bowls being filled with water at the basins and taken into the toilet. I decided I did not want to know what was occurring.
It took a further 23 miles of travelling and an apology from Ronald before I decided I could converse with him again.
On our Arrival we were greeted with a log fire, damson gin and a superb dinner, we are ready for Christmas.
So my dear ladies and occasional gentleman, we wish you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and PEACE HEALTH AND HAPPINESS FOR THE COMING YEAR.