TITS, TAMBOUR, TENTIGINOUS, THERMASTHESIA, THEURGY AND TATERS

TITS, TAMBOUR, TENTIGINOUS, THEURGY AND TATERS, yes dear ladies and the occasional  gentleman, since we last chatted I have experienced all of the above.

I apologise for the unladylike word TITS, I blame Veronica. In our recent sell-out show, she unashamedly performed a poem about her TITS, I tried to persuade her to use BOSOMS instead but to no avail. However it made me think when I woke up and peeped under the duvet:

This morning I was quite distressed

As I lay eu-naturelle in bed

To note my breasts go East and West

Not upright, pert as in my head

So help is needed but do I go for ‘TILLY’S TAMBOUR or ‘VICTORIA’S SECRET’? In order to remain TENTIGINOUS to dear Ronald and bearing in mind it is our WEDDING ANNIVERSARY on the 18th December what would you dear ladies and the occasional gentleman advise me?

Keep this a secret but I am KNITTING Ronald for Christmas an all-in-one undergarment up to the neck and with long sleeves and long legs. The pattern calls for 2 PLY SILK but I didn’t have any, so I am using an ORGANIC FREE-RANGE ARAN TWILL with some of hirsute Roley’s hair to soften it, I’m hoping it won’t tickle him in the sparklers. The reason for the garment is that Ronald is experiencing THERMAESTHESIA after his recent violent allergic reaction.

A few words about  ‘THE FANNYS’ show, we haven’t finished counting yet but it looks with the help of THEURGY  we have raised a substantial amount to go to ‘THE NEW CHEMOTHERAPY UNIT APPEAL’. Our audiences were wonderful, the atmosphere was incredible and we have been hearing lovely comments since the show; how some people have been having a difficult time, some are poorly, some have lost family and friends and some who just came along for an evening out. They have said how they laughed until their jaws ached, how they were able to forget their problems for a little while. Apologies to the lady who forgot to wear her Tenna Lady and had to sit on her coat when she wet herself with laughter. It is a privilege to be a part of THE FANNYS an amazing group of ladies of a certain age who still have youth on their side.

Finaly ladies, last night I went to CHRISTMAS BINGO raising funds for the village CRICKET team. I am not the best at Bingo, I get a bit panicky as everyone takes it so seriously and there are rules about when to call. All evening I watched all the wonderful prizes being won,CHRISTMAS CHOCOLATES AND BISCUITS IN LOVELY VICTORIAN STYLE TINS, GIANT HAMS AND FREE-RANGE TURKEYS and what did I win? A 5.5 LB BAG OF TATERS (POTATOES)! Please do not think I am ungrateful but really!

Well I am off to peel those spuds or perhaps we will have Jacket Potatoes, then to finish writing the village pantomime.

FISHOOKS! Just noticed that I have turned two pages by mistake on my knitting pattern and completely missed the opening in the front of Ronald’s onesie, oh well he will just have to practise self-control, that’ll stop him peeing in the garden!

Yours Busily

Celia

One thought on “TITS, TAMBOUR, TENTIGINOUS, THERMASTHESIA, THEURGY AND TATERS

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